


closing the distance on my future

by Lord_Byron_Mudkippington



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: Diamond & Pearl & Platinum | Pokemon Diamond Pearl Platinum Versions
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Age Difference, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25110304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington/pseuds/Lord_Byron_Mudkippington
Summary: When she was younger, Dawn thought she knew what she was going to do with her life. She was going to be the best coordinator the world had ever seen. Now her dream is seemingly dead, and she's forced to slog away in a higher education institution. At least, until the former Champion appears and inadvertently offers her a lifeline.
Relationships: Hikari | Dawn/Shirona | Cynthia
Comments: 17
Kudos: 92





	1. life just gets in the way

When she was ten years old, the future wasn't important. She was a fresh-faced trainer, getting her first Pokémon from Professor Rowan. With her mother's blessing, she left her home and went into the exciting unknown of the Pokémon world. Like all young trainers, she was excited to explore the world, battle fellow trainers, and compete to enter the Pokémon League. Sleeping in a tent out in the woods never seemed so awesome.

It didn't take long for the experience to turn sour. She was able to get her first badge, but she hit a roadblock after that. The second gym proved tougher than she expected, and the amount of battling she had to do to improve her Pokémon became boring. It wasn't necessarily fair for her to feel that way, since it was her Pokémon who were doing the battling, but she no longer felt riveted by the promise of the Pokémon League.

What she felt was her true calling appeared to her in Hearthome City. She had wandered past Eterna City after her second failure at the gym, needing to get her mind off her battling struggles. When she stepped into the city limits, she was immediately greeted by a flier stapled to a light fixture. Curious, she saw that it was advertising a Pokémon Contest. She had heard of them before, but she didn't know much about them. It sounded as good of a distraction as any, so she went to check it out.

Sitting in the audience, she was immediately blown away by the coordinators on stage. Rather than participating in battles, they used their Pokémon's moves to showcase their strengths. Whether that was their cuteness, their beauty, or how cool they were, the coordinators seemed to know exactly how to get the best out of their Pokémon. There were even combination moves early on that had her eyes glued to the stage. By the end, after the winner had been given their victory ribbon, she knew what she wanted to do. Gym battles just weren't for her: she wanted to be a coordinator.

That night, her badge case with the lone badge was thrown into her backpack, soon to be forgotten. She stayed the night in the Pokémon Center and the next day, she signed up for the coordinator trials and got herself a ribbon case. Now her training didn't seem so empty. Rather than focusing on battles, she worked hard to perfect her Pokémon's moves and looks. It was quite different for the Pokémon she had captured, but they trusted their trainer, and they quickly were working as hard as they could.

She stuck around in Hearthome while she trained, preparing to enter her first contest there. When she felt confident enough in the abilities of herself and her Pokémon, she entered the contest hall again. Instead of a spectator, she was a contestant. She was floored by the cheers when she stepped on stage, surprised that all those strangers wanted to see her. It didn't give her stage fright, though. In fact, it made her feel inspired to do the best job she could and win herself a ribbon.

When she returned to that stage, being congratulated on her victory, she was higher than the moon. She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she bowed to the audience, accepting her winner's ribbon with as much grace as an excited ten year old could muster. Her first contest appearance had ended in a victory! That told her that being a regular trainer wasn't in the cards for her. Being a coordinator clearly suited her better, and she was so ready to become the greatest coordinator the region had ever seen!

Unfortunately, not all dreams were meant to be realized. It wasn't as if she failed as a coordinator: at least, not in the traditional sense. She trekked from city to city, winning contest ribbons and getting her name out there as a legitimate threat. It made her feel warm and fuzzy inside to have people cheering her name when she stepped on the stage in a city she'd never been to before. They knew her name: they knew _her_. Every time it happened, it reassured her that this was what she was meant to do.

There was a plateau that she was bound to hit, though. She didn't know it at the time, but it would eventually rear its ugly head. The fact that it didn't happen immediately just allowed her to keep up the delusions of a young girl. For two years, she became a fairly well-known coordinator in the Sinnoh region. She won every ribbon there was to win in every large city and tiny town, and placed high in the grand coordinator tournaments.

First place continued to elude her, though. After two years of a happy coordinator life, her interest began to slowly wane. For the next four years, she continued within the coordinator sphere, but participating in the same contests every year lost its luster. She knew all the tricks of the trade that would get her high scores from the judges, to the point where she felt like a robot. All she would do was tell her Pokémon to do the same moves, and she would come away with the victory. Years of doing that made it feel hollow.

To try and alleviate those feelings, she looked for other avenues to put her focus on. She considered becoming a speaker on coordination tactics, but there weren't any coordinators willing to listen to a girl barely older than they were. The older ones were even more dismissive, so she dropped out of that quickly with her tail between her legs. In desperation, she tried becoming a regular trainer again. Fishing out that long-forgotten badge case, she earned that second badge she struggled to gain, as well as three more. It always felt like she was forcing herself to go to the gyms just so she had something to do, though, so she never completed her journey.

When she turned sixteen, she dejectedly returned to her hometown. Her mother, friends, and neighbors congratulated her on the great work she had done as a coordinator, cheering for her like she had done something incredible. She smiled and thanked them, but inside she felt miserable. There was no reason to celebrate her. All she had done was become a good coordinator: not a great one. She had hit her ceiling, and that seemed more like a cause for commiseration rather than celebration.

That was also the day when she found out that becoming a trainer was just a scam. Maybe that was hyperbolic, but how else was she supposed to feel when her mother said she was glad that she had come home to get her education? Not only that, but a _real_ job. That wasn't her misinterpreting what her mother said: she had explicitly said a _real_ job. Wandering around the region battling or competing in contests didn't pay the bills, unless you were one of the best, which of course she wasn't. That was a sobering lesson for a sixteen year old.

She struggled to sleep that night. Lying in bed, she looked over at her nightstand. Her first ribbon case stood up there, open and revealing all the original ribbons she won. It gave her a momentary feeling of happiness, but that was quickly dashed when she remembered what was coming next. For the first time in her life, she had to truly think about the future: her schooling, her job, her life. It terrified her to think that the good times were over, and she had spent so much of it struggling. What had been the point?

Sleep did not come easy for her that night.

* * *

Over the next two years, she struggled to find herself. She knew that she had to decide on her future soon enough, but she didn't know what she wanted to do. Being a coordinator was all she knew, but she had clearly reached the endgame of that. She had been good, but that wouldn't get her a job in that field. For a time, she clung onto that idea, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she could become a contest judge or something in that vein. Eventually she let go of that dream and went back to the drawing board.

She spent a lot of time wandering around the town with her partner Piplup in tow. Unlike her fellow trainers, she hadn't evolved her starter Pokémon. She had grown attached to the little guy, and it didn't feel right to make him evolve. As far as she was concerned, he was perfect the way he was. At least one of them was. She kept him as-is, even if it got her teased upon her return to Twinleaf.

Eventually, her time began to run out. When she turned eighteen, she had to head to college. It was either that or spurn what everybody expected of her and attempt to become a coordinator again. While that seemed more appealing than schooling, she knew that it wouldn't last. She would feel like a waste to society, and that same society wouldn't bother with her anymore. They would whisper behind her back, judging her for the strange, poor choices she made in life. With great reluctance, she enrolled in the Sinnoh Higher Learning Academy in Jubilife City.

It became very apparent that higher education wasn't for her. Spending years of her life camping out around the region helped her live in an unfamiliar dorm room without any of her hometown support system around her. Going to classes was the difference that she couldn't deal with. Coming back from classes and having homework to do was a strange concept. Too often over her first couple of months at school, she just plain forgot to do it.

While she had been at home, dreading the future, she had done enough procrastinating for a lifetime. Now that she was at school, she had one school year to figure out what the rest of her life would be like. First year students took general classes that taught important life skills that most people would need, regardless of their future job. However, once their second year hit, they would be expected to have chosen a career and take the necessary classes. She had not come close to making a decision, and it haunted many of her lonely dorm nights.

What were her skills besides coordinating? If there was something within that that could be transferred into a legitimate profession, she hadn't come up with it yet. If she had to spend the rest of her life as a department store clerk, she might leave the school, run off into the Eterna Forest, and never return. She didn't mean to disparage those who were department store clerks, but she couldn't sit behind a desk for her entire life. How could they send her out into the wide open world for all those years, then expect her to sit like a lump for the rest of her days?

The first event to break the monotony was a guest speaker coming to the campus. It was no ordinary guest speaker, though. As soon as it was announced that the former League Champion Cynthia was coming to speak, the entire school was abuzz with excitement. Everybody had the date and time written down, and it seemed like every person on campus was trying to shove themselves into the biggest auditorium at the school. Even then, people had to stand in the aisles or in the back if they wanted to hear her speak. She was one of those people.

Flanked on all sides by her fellow students, she had to stand on her tip-toes to see over the head of a taller boy in front of her. Cynthia then came on stage, walking towards the podium to a deafening level of applause. She wore the same outfit she always had as the Champion, which made her cut an imposing figure. Clad in all black, she seemed like a woman who took nonsense from no one. When she began to speak, her voice held the same tone, though her words were gentle and encouraging.

"It makes me so happy to see all of you here today." That got another round of applause, though her own arms stayed at her sides. Not because she didn't think Cynthia was worthy of it, but because she felt completely blown away. Objectively, she had always known that Cynthia was a beautiful woman, but this was the first time she truly felt just _how_ beautiful she was. Her voice was incredible as well, and it was a wonder that anyone so perfect would bother showing up to such undeserving kids.

"Education is more important than some of you may realize. I was like you when I was your age: coming home from my trainer journey, wondering what my place was going to be in the world. It was hard to think of having to get a job after all those years by myself." Her eyes widened, scarcely believing what she was hearing. It was as if Cynthia could read her mind, and she was laying her thoughts bare to everyone. Could someone like her really have gone through the same thing she was?

"The reason I became the Champion isn't because I was the best battler in school. It was because I didn't give up on my dream." Her eyes were bright, shining all the way to the back of the auditorium. She was captivated by them, unable to look away. "The most important thing I learned was that as long as you hold onto your dreams, and you put everything you have into them, you can become the person you want to be. That's why I'm happy to see you all today, because I'm looking down at all of your faces, and I believe in every one of your dreams. Please don't give up on them."

Again, the auditorium erupted in cheers. This time, even she was able to bring her hands together to clap for such a powerful speech. It was hard to believe that someone like Cynthia could have anything in common with them. She had been the Champion for years, and was renowned for her battling prowess throughout the region. Nobody considered her delusional for sticking with her battling passions as an adult. Maybe they just knew she was meant for greatness, and the rest of them weren't.

"Now, I must be off. There are adventures awaiting for me, same as they are for you." Cynthia stepped away from the podium, smiling at the cheers and ecstatic faces of the students. Dawn, however, had resumed her silence. She had said that she was going on an adventure. What kind of adventure? There were adventures waiting for all of them... That ending salvo made so many things click in her mind.

She understood what Cynthia was trying to say, but she truly felt that there was nothing for her in school. All she had to look forward to was choosing a career she would be stuck with for the rest of her life. The boredom would set in soon enough, and if it didn't, the anxiety over choosing the wrong career would get her eventually. Going on an adventure seemed much more appealing. She was used to being outdoors, and she could rough it with the best of them. Plus, who wouldn't want to go on an adventure with Cynthia? It didn't seem likely that anyone else there would be brave enough - or foolish enough - to ask her if they could accompany her, though. Everything she was going through was the perfect storm of circumstances to make her that brave fool.

While the rest of the students were still cheering, she started heading for the exit. She had to shove through a multitude of students, excusing herself each time until she was finally out in the hallway. It was a breath of fresh air, being away from the crushing throng, but she didn't have time to relax. She started heading outside the building, where she knew the auditorium exit door was. It was likely that Cynthia would head that way, and she had to make sure she reached her before it was too late.

To that end, she started sprinting as soon as she opened the doors and stepped outside. She held onto her hat, the only remnant on her from her previous trainer life, to make sure it didn't fly off from her sudden burst of energy. When she reached the side door, it remained close. She stopped in front of it, panting as she looked around the campus. There was no sign of Cynthia, and she couldn't have gotten that far unless she ran faster than a Luxray. She must have still been in the auditorium.

The door started to open, and she jumped away to make sure she didn't get hit. Cynthia walked out in all her impressive beauty, standing a good few inches taller than her. She had been excited for the first time in months at the thought of something new happening in her life, but now she felt intimidated. Doubt blossomed in her mind, making her wonder what kind of moron she was to think she could just tag along with the most popular trainer in Sinnoh.

"Oh, hello there. Is there something I can help you with?" She spoke as gently as she had on stage, as if she hadn't been bum-rushed by a random student. Dawn felt her mouth go dry, the request she wanted to make struggling to make its way out.

"Uh, I... My name's Dawn," she muttered, blushing when she realized she had introduced herself without being asked. "I really enjoyed your speech. It was really motivational." Up close, all the thoughts she had about Cynthia were magnified. She was much more intimidating, and much more attractive. Her body and mind were in sync with struggling to deal with it.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. Hopefully it inspired you to keep focusing on your dream." Well, that was the problem, wasn't it? She wasn't sure _what_ her dream was. Her ambitions, her goals, her future... It was all a mystery, and she hadn't figured out how to break through the fog that settled around her brain when it came to those things.

"I... I don't know what my dream is," she admitted, finding it difficult to look Cynthia in the eyes. If she was more confident in what she wanted to do, she could hold her gaze, but she wasn't even confident in herself. Then she remembered why she was there, and what she wanted to ask. It wasn't so much confidence as it was foolishness that buoyed her then. "But I know that I can't realize it here. I need to be out in the world to discover who I am. You're going on an adventure, right? Please let me come with you!"

"Huh?" That seemed to catch Cynthia off guard. She eyed Dawn curiously, and it wouldn't have surprised her if Cynthia could read every little secret running around her mind. There was something about her that made her feel like an open book: one that hadn't been finished because the author grew bored with the story and gave up. "You want to join me on an adventure?"

"Yes, I do. I miss spending my time outdoors, and I feel that I need this adventure to figure out what I'm going to do with my life." Truthfully, she wasn't sure if that was the case. She had spent all those years as a coordinator, and that hadn't helped her any. Why would one specific adventure with Cynthia change that? Maybe the real truth was that she wanted to cling onto any opportunity to be away from the school, since it was a symbol of the future that she couldn't decide on.

"Well, I wouldn't want to take you away from your classes..." That sounded like it should be the end of it, but Cynthia was apparently thinking about it. Dawn's eyes widened, wondering if she would be allowed to actually go on an adventure with Cynthia. She was rubbing her chin, seemingly sizing her up. "I suppose I could make sure it was okay with your advisor if you came with me, though you don't even know where I'm going."

"That just makes it more of an adventure." She was grinning from ear to ear, practically bouncing on her feet. As long as it didn't involve higher education or her future, she didn't care where they were going. Knowing Cynthia, she was sure it was something exciting. The former Champion didn't go to the supermarket for 'adventure'. She was so ready for this!

"Then I hope you're prepared for whatever is about to get thrown at you." Smiling, Cynthia pulled out her phone. "If I can just get your contact information, I'll let you know what your advisor says." Dawn eagerly gave her information to Cynthia, then the two of them said their goodbyes. She had to put some distance between them before she could pump her fist in celebration. They were going on an adventure together! She was going to put her schooling in the rearview, for however long their trip may last. The longer she could put her future on the backburner, the better.

Nothing was set in stone, though. First, her advisor had to approve her leaving the school for an indeterminate amount of time. There was a chance they would say no, and she would be right back where she was now. That was a sobering thought, but for once she was too excited to let that get her down. It felt like she would actually get to do this. With Cynthia's blessing, it didn't seem likely that her advisor would go against her. Despite being the _former_ Champion, Cynthia still held plenty of clout in the region.

Smiling to herself, she started walking back to her dorm until she remembered that she had another class to get to. "Shoot..." This adventure couldn't come soon enough.


	2. any port in an emotional storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn heads to Eterna City with Cynthia, and gets roped into competing in a contest for the first time in years.

It had been a long while since she had felt this excited. Cynthia had gotten her advisor to agree to let her go, so she was free to spurn her classes for the open outdoors. Thinking about it, she probably hadn't been this excited since she first found what she felt was her true calling as a coordinator. Regardless, anything was better than going back to class and having to wrestle with a future she didn't want to think about. Plus, it didn't hurt that she got to spend time with someone as attractive as Cynthia.

Admittedly, attraction and romance weren't things she was super familiar with. Spending years of her life wandering the region alone didn't make her feel sudden attraction towards other people. It wasn't something that had been taught in her two months at school either. The only experience she had was when she dated one of her childhood friends for a few months back when she was sixteen. It was something that the two of them fell into due to their struggles attempting to come home and leave their journeys behind. The fact that it ended so soon wasn't a surprise to either of them, but at least they remained friends after that.

This was really the first time that she felt something as powerful as attraction to another person. She was aware of others being attractive, but this was a lot more raw. If she let her mind wander too much, she would begin to think about how hot Cynthia was in black. She rocked her outfits like no one else could, and it made her wonder if she had ever considered being a model. Maybe that would be a conversation that came up during their travels. She could dream, at least.

Standing in the bathroom, she stared at herself in the mirror. While she hadn't been told where they were going, she had been advised to wear something for colder weather. She had put on her old red jacket that was her favorite for colder climates. It acted as a jacket _and_ skirt, though her body had grown since she had bought it. She blushed slightly at how high up the skirt part now rode. If she made more than a slight movement, her underwear would be showing. Maybe Cynthia would like that...

She couldn't walk around in public like that, though. Not without _something_ underneath, so she compromised by wearing her comfiest pair of tights. That would at least cover her up in case of any wardrobe malfunctions. Her outfit was completed with her hat and boots, which would be perfect in case they ended up somewhere with a lot of snow. Her big white scarf completed the ensemble for maximum warmth.

Her bag was packed with only things she absolutely needed, which was another lesson roughing it in the wild taught her. The only technically unnecessary thing she had on her was her ribbon case. Something made her feel like throwing it into her bag, even if there wasn't a point in taking it. She had been staring at it when she pulled it out of her nightstand drawer, unable to make herself put it back. It didn't take up much room, and it wasn't heavy, so it would be fine.

She was supposed to meet Cynthia off campus, since they didn't want to attract too much attention. Seeing the former Champion flying off with a random student might get the rumor mill churning. With her bag slung over her shoulder, she walked from her dorm to the spot they had agreed to meet. Seeing Cynthia standing there brought her a surprising amount of relief. There had been part of her that imagined this was all some sort of a joke, and she would end up being bamboozled.

"Ready to go?" Cynthia stood there looking fine as ever, her Garchomp next to her. It looked even more intimidating than Cynthia did, and everyone knew how tough it was in battle. She wasn't sure why it was out, but it made her feel hesitant to walk over. Instead, she kept a bit of distance as she nodded in assent. "Good! We'll be riding on Garchomp today." She patted her on the back, and she let out a low growl.

"O-Oh..." She hadn't been expecting that. Plenty of trainers traveled on their Pokémon, but she had never done so. This would be a new experience for her, and she was pretty terrified. She wasn't afraid of heights, but the thought of slipping off of Garchomp and falling to her death was stuck in her mind. However, that honestly sounded preferable than backing out now. "Okay, I'm ready."

She walked over to Cynthia, who gave her a reassuring smile. Then she grabbed onto Garchomp and hopped onto it, straddling its back with her legs. Once she was settled, she offered her hand for Dawn to grab. Doing her best to push her worries to the side, she grabbed onto Cynthia's hand and hoisted herself up. She nearly embarrassed herself by sliding off the other side, but she grabbed onto Cynthia's waist to keep from falling off. That brought a different sense of embarrassment, though.

"Alright, ready to take off?" Cynthia looked over her shoulder, confident and self-assured. Dawn felt like an inadequate child in her presence, but she wasn't going to waste this chance. She nodded, swaying a bit as she got lost in Cynthia's wonderful smile. Then Cynthia turned around, rubbing her hand down her Garchomp's head and neck. "Alright Garchomp, it's time to fly." With a loud growl, Garchomp flapped her wings and took them into the air.

As soon as they left the ground, she grabbed onto Cynthia and held on for dear life. She looked down at the ground, watching it get farther and farther away. While she wouldn't say she had suddenly gained a fear of heights, she couldn't discount it at the moment. She held onto Cynthia as tight as she could, shutting her eyes to avoid making this sudden onslaught of fear any more prolific. It was bad enough that she couldn't even enjoy how close she was to Cynthia.

"We'll stop in Eterna to give Garchomp a rest before we continue." That suited Dawn just fine. She was not feeling this mode of transportation, but it did give her a newfound respect for trainers who used their Pokémon to fly around the region. There was no way she could do it herself, especially now that she knew being that high up made her feel sick to her stomach. Besides, there was something more idyllic about walking from city to city. It gave her fond memories of her time as a coordinator.

When they landed in Eterna, she had never been so happy to touch solid ground. She tried not to show it, but she was close to dropping to her knees and kissing the sidewalk. While she was gathering her bearings, Cynthia patted Garchomp on the head, telling her what a good job she did before returning her to her Pokéball. "Are you hungry? We could stop at a café. My treat, of course."

"Sure, that sounds great." Honestly, she wasn't hungry in the slightest. Her stomach was still doing flips from all the time they spent in the air. Despite being on the ground, she still felt as if they hadn't truly touched down yet. Still, she would eventually have to eat, and being a student with no career and no savings meant she couldn't say no if someone else said 'my treat.'

The two of them entered a quaint little café with a forest theme. The wallpaper was covered in trees, giving the building an outdoorsy feel. With the way the lights were dimmed, it really did feel as if they had stepped into the nearby Eterna Forest. She was impressed by the amount of effort that had been put into the design of the café. It made her wonder when it had been erected, since she didn't remember it existing eight years ago.

There were only three customers inside, as well as the two employees, but all five of them turned to the door and stared when it opened. They clearly couldn't believe that _the_ Cynthia had walked in, gracing their little abode with her presence. It was as if Dawn didn't exist, or was just a shadow naturally following Cynthia. That didn't bother her much, though. The questions that would likely follow weren't ones she was comfortable answering.

They ordered from the starstruck cashier, with Dawn making sure to get something light so as not to upset her stomach. After Cynthia paid, the two of them took their seats at a table in the corner. Everyone's eyes followed them from the register to the table, as if they didn't care that they were so blatantly staring. It put Dawn off somewhat, and her discomfort seemed to show, as Cynthia made mention of it.

"You get used to it," she laughed, not even paying attention to the stares. "I've been dealing with it for so long that it doesn't affect me anymore. Hopefully you don't feel too uncomfortable, though. I know it can be a bit much to handle."

"It's alright. You _are_ a celebrity, after all." Though she felt uncomfortable under all their stares, she didn't want to cop to it and make Cynthia regret taking her on her adventure. There was no way she was going to risk it getting cut short. Being returned to school early was not what she wanted to happen. 

"That's true." She laughed softly, then turned right around and thanked the waiter who had just come over with their food. Dawn thanked them as well, feeling her stomach do a flip at the sight of food in front of her. "You're not too unknown yourself, though. I remember hearing about your stunning victories in the contests you entered."

"You know about those?" The food that made her stomach flip was forgotten as she stared wide-eyed at Cynthia. She didn't look much different than the other café-goers, but she couldn't help it. That was the last thing she expected to hear come out of Cynthia's mouth. She wanted to ask 'how?' or 'why?', but she kept her mouth shut.

"Of course! The Sinnoh Champion ought to know what's going on in the region." Cynthia winked at her, which made her face go red. It was hard to imagine that, all those years ago, Cynthia knew who she was. There was no way that her victories were _that_ important, right? "From what I heard, you had quite a lot of talent."

"Thank you..." Her voice came out tiny, like a child's. She was too embarrassed to even look Cynthia in the eye anymore, so she busied herself with staring down at her food. Her stomach was still begging her not to put food in it, but she needed something - _anything_ \- to keep her from falling apart in that moment. "Being a coordinator was fun." She left out three important words, because she didn't feel they were relevant to the conversation: _'for a time.'_

"How come you stopped, then?" That question hit Dawn like a stray Hyper Beam. "I stopped hearing stories of your work, and when I asked, I was told that you were no longer competing." She leaned forward on her elbows, resting her chin in her hands. "If you don't feel comfortable answering, that's alright." She said that, but with the way she was staring at her, she didn't feel like it was possible to deny her. Those intense eyes felt so understanding, even if she barely knew who she was.

"I reached my ceiling," she admitted, trying to look Cynthia in the eyes again. It was too tough to do, though, so she looked back down at her food, poking aimlessly at it with her utensil. Then she realized that made her seem sad, and she forced herself to scoop some of it up and put it in her mouth. At least it forced her to take time between her sentences, since talking with one's mouth full wasn't polite. "I did win those local contests, but I never won any of the big tournaments."

"Ah, I felt that way when I entered my first league tournament. I made it into the top sixteen, but I was knocked out in that round and felt devastated." She chuckled quietly, seemingly lost in her reminiscing. "I almost convinced myself that I would never be good enough to go any further, but that night, I had a one on one talk with myself. If I gave up then, how could I reach my dreams? So I doubled down on my training, and I suppose you know the rest." She laughed again, smiling sheepishly. "I know my story is a bit old hat at this point."

"I don't mind hearing it again." Every kid her age knew about Cynthia's story. It was a made-for-TV special the moment she became the champion. She wasn't bored of it, though. It had been a fascinating tale for her even before she became a trainer. She definitely wasn't the only one who had Cynthia as one of her biggest idols. "You're a much better trainer than I am, though. I loved being a coordinator, but it's just something I have to put in the past."

"If it's something you love, then why do you have to leave it behind?" Cynthia took a bite of her food, but her eyes never left Dawn. In the auditorium, she felt that she could be read like a book, and there was no doubt that was happening now. "There are classes at your school that can help you when it comes to being a coordinator. I think you would be great in that field." Her smile was so genuine that Dawn couldn't help but believe her. At the same time, she couldn't forget her mother's words about finding a 'real job'. A coordinator wasn't that.

"I just... felt that I had reached my ceiling. Performing in the same contests again and again made me feel like I was cheating. I knew how to win, and there didn't feel like there was any strategy anymore. The victories just made me feel numb." She hadn't expected to admit to anything like that. It wasn't important how she felt about what she previously did, and certainly not to someone as important as Cynthia. There was just something about her that made the truth come out, and there wasn't anything she could do to clamp down on it. 

"I thought that if I won the coordinator tournaments, I could prove to myself that I could make it as a coordinator, but I never did. No matter how close I got, I would always come up short." She smiled wistfully, but there was no happiness in her eyes. Each defeat in those tournaments remained in her mind, and they still cut deep after all those years. "Now I have to go to school, and I have to choose a career that I'll spend the rest of my life doing. I'm just... I'm not ready," she admitted, her last words coming out as a whisper.

"Is that why you were so insistent on coming with me? To not have to decide on your future?" Blushing, Dawn nodded before ducking her head. Now was the best time to start shoveling food in her mouth. "Don't worry, I'm not going to send you back." She laughed for a moment, then fell silent. When Dawn found the courage to look up again, she found Cynthia lost in thought. Stroking her chin, she took a sip of her drink, her gaze somewhere beyond the close confines of the café. Not wanting to interrupt, Dawn stayed silent, poking at her food again.

Whatever Cynthia was thinking about, she didn't bring it up in the café. In fact, they didn't say much of anything the rest of the time they ate. It was a relief to not have to continue spilling all the miserable feelings that had built up inside her, but being so silent felt similarly awkward. Maybe she was supposed to be the one who broke the silence, but each time she tried, she ended up tongue-tied. Instead, she found it easier to just watch Cynthia eat.

There was a certain grace to everything Cynthia did, and that included eating. She would poke her fork into her meal, putting the morsel delicately into her mouth. It was as if it was impossible for anything she did to be less than perfect. That just made it even harder to believe that at one point, she was considering giving up her Pokémon journey. Someone like her did nothing but succeed at everything she did, and she looked damn good while doing it too. There must have been something wrong with the system back then where someone like Cynthia wasn't an immediate success.

When they finally finished their food and left the café, Dawn realized that none of the customers or employees had come over to ask for a photo or an autograph. That was a relief, as she would have been really uncomfortable in that situation. The staring was at least manageable.

Outside, the sun had begun to set, which brought the temperature down to acceptable levels. She enjoyed those times, since it meant she could walk around in her coat without burning up. Her warmer weather outfit was tucked away in her bag, but she kept the coat on assuming - correctly - that she would feel chillier up in the air.

As they walked down the street, Cynthia suddenly stopped, which forced Dawn to stop as well. Looking where her gaze was, a lump formed in her throat when she saw that they were right outside the contest hall. Several people were walking in, and the lights were on, which meant there was likely a contest either happening or about to happen. That brought back a lot of memories.

"Why don't we go inside?" She nearly jumped at Cynthia's suggestion, turning to her with wide eyes. Cynthia just smiled at her, offering the chance and nothing more. It didn't look like she was going to be forced to go inside, so it was up to her. Like before, however, it still didn't feel like she could say no. Naturally, she slowly nodded and started walking to the doors.

The atmosphere was alive with people filling up every seat in the amphitheater. Eterna wasn't a particular big city, but like the others, it enjoyed a good contest or two. Once contests started spreading in popularity, naturally a theater was built there to accommodate them. It brought in a good amount of people, which was good for business. She remembered being intimidated going back to the city where she had failed in her gym travels, but that was far in the rearview. There were new things to be intimidated about now.

"Looks like it hasn't started yet." Dawn thought they were going to try and find a couple empty seats, or just stand in the back, but it looked like Cynthia had other motives for going inside. "You know, it's possible that you could still enter the contest. I'm sure they'll remember who you are, and they would be more than happy to see you return to the stage."

"Woah, uh, I..." She stammered out, mouth open as she stared at Cynthia. It was one thing to watch a contest, but it was quite another to enter. "I haven't entered one in years..." She was certainly rusty, and the thought of embarrassing herself was overwhelming. However, she could already remember the last time she was on stage, performing her self-created combo moves as she wowed the judges with her well-honed skills. No matter how many times she tried to forget, it was tough to let go of the dream she once had.

"I'm sure you haven't forgotten your techniques, though." It was impeccable - and unnerving - how well Cynthia could read her. She was so transparent that she worried that _everyone_ could read her. Slowly she nodded, having to admit that the moves she had spent years tweaking still lived in her mind. It was like she had only thought of them yesterday with how vivid they were.

She began to wonder if it should be such a surprise that she ended up following Cynthia backstage. Each time she wanted to keep things inside, they just came out without a second thought. Not only could Cynthia read her like a book, she could string her along like a marionette. That sounded worse than she meant it to be, but she just couldn't say no to her. The beauty and confidence she exuded was overwhelming.

"Cynthia! What an honor!" The judges were backstage, separated from the contestants. All four of them turned in wonder at the sight of the former Champion. Even though her title had been usurped, she still commanded quite the presence. "Have you come to watch the contest?" The rest of the judges looked between each other in wonder, as if they couldn't believe that someone like Cynthia would come just to see the contest.

"Yes, but I was also hoping that you could take one more contestant." She motioned towards Dawn, who waved shyly. Being put on the spot like that was uncomfortable. "I know you're about to start, but I'm sure you remember one of the best coordinators that this region has ever seen." That made Dawn blush, struggling to take such a major compliment from Cynthia. Was it even true, or was she just embellishing it to get her into the contest? Either way, she couldn't help but be flattered, even if there was still doubt in her mind.

"Oh, of course! There's still a couple of spots that can be filled!" Whether or not the judges really wanted to go through the trouble of inserting her into the contest, she would never know. She wasn't sure whether the looks on their faces were ones of hesitance or just wonder at the appearance of a regional icon. Either way, they agreed to let her in, and she wasn't sure whether to be thankful or annoyed.

"Well, good luck out there. I know you'll do great." With a smile and an encouraging pat on the shoulder, Cynthia left to go find a seat. Dawn was now alone backstage. Well, there were the judges looking at her oddly, but she certainly _felt_ alone. Sucking in a deep breath, she walked past the judges to where the other contestants would be getting changed. They all looked at her when she entered, but she did her best to ignore them.

She set her bag down on the nearest bench and unzipped it, sifting through it until she found her old traveling outfit. It had been her favorite clothing back in the day, enough to where she had gotten it altered a couple of times. However, it had been hidden in her closet for several years at this point, and her continued growth made it a bit too small for her body. Still, holding it in her hands, she was forcefully reminded of the good times, and she didn't have the heart to put it back. Maybe she needed to put it back on, just to see if it helped recapture the old magic. Cynthia was counting on her to put on her best showing, after all.

Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she headed into the changing room. Removing her outerwear, she changed into her old outfit and looked at herself in the mirror. The black, sleeveless top of her dress still fit her, though it had become a bit tight in the chest area. However, the pink skirt was way too short. Thinking back on it, that part had always been pretty short, but now it rested just beneath her butt. Frowning slightly, she knew that any extra movement would end up quite embarrassing for her, but she felt a sense of nostalgia seeing herself in her old outfit. What to do, what to do...

In the end, she felt that the outfit was too important to not wear, and luckily she had a pair of shorts she could wear beneath it. She pulled on those shorts, smoothed out her skirt, and reached into her bag for her Pokéballs. There weren't many opportunities for her Pokémon to come out and play anymore. Her schooling tended to involve sitting in a classroom and taking notes all day. There weren't a lot of practical lessons, so she was sure her Pokémon would be happy to be let out.

Out came her Piplup and Clefable, who were indeed happy to be let out. However, their little cheers turned to confusion as they saw their trainer in her old outfit. The two of them came over to her, waiting to be told what was going on.

"Hey you two. I know it's been awhile since we've competed in a contest..." She squatted down to get closer to their level, feelings of discomfort clawing at her stomach. Though she tried to ignore it, it was a constant. "But we're going to try one more time, okay? Do you two remember your techniques?" The two Pokémon looked at each other, then both let out little cries of assent. Piplup, confident as ever, puffed out his little chest and tapped it with his wing. "Heh, I should have known you two would be ready. Alright, here's what we're going to do..."

With her idea prepared, she put her Pokémon back in their balls, attaching them to her hip as she left her bag in a locker. Considering that she was going to be the last contestant to go, she had nothing to do but sit there and wait. So she sat on the bench and waited, feeling her stomach working itself into knots over her nervousness. It had been years since she participated in a contest. What if she embarrassed herself in front of Cynthia? Or... What if she realized that contests were still what she wanted to do? How was she supposed to deal with that?

It would be so easy to just fall back into that cycle. Contests were what she knew, and being a coordinator had been the only thing she was truly good at. However, if she did that, then she knew the reaction it would garner. She knew her limits as a coordinator, and it wasn't enough to become one full time. If she continued to wander the region, winning easy contests and failing under the bigger spotlights, then nobody would respect her. She felt sick thinking of how disappointed her mother would be... But what else was she supposed to do? What profession was she supposed to take? Her future was so close, yet it felt so far away.

"Um, excuse me? Dawn?" A young woman stepped into the room, making her realize that she had been spacing out. "You're up next." She quietly thanked the woman, standing up and heading out for the stage. Hidden in the shadows, she was able to watch a boy performing with his Grotle. He didn't look a day over thirteen, and his moves seemed appropriate for a youngster with decent experience in contests. Did someone like her even need to be there anymore? 

There wasn't any time for her to do anything about it if she really _wasn't_ supposed to be there. Soon enough, she was next up, and she slowly walked onto the stage. Her nerves were destroying her from the inside out, and she could only hope that nobody noticed. She tried to find Cynthia in the crowd, but there were so many people, it was tough to make any specific person out.

"Is that Dawn?" "Yeah, that's her! I'd recognize her anywhere!" Her name started to rise from the crowd, all of the murmuring coalescing into a louder sound. Then people started to cheer, clapping for her when she hadn't even started. They remembered her... She could feel a swelling of pride and nervousness threatening to burst out of her. Knowing that they all remembered her just made her realize that losing wasn't an option, even if she was still rusty.

"Alright, come on out!" Summoning every ounce of courage she had inside herself, she pulled her two Pokéballs off her hip and threw them up into the air. Out came Piplup and Clefable, who were ready for action. Even if they were both out of practice, neither one of them wanted to let their trainer down. "Clefable, use Metronome!"

It was a combination move that she had made up four years ago to try to alleviate the boredom of her usual contest victories, dubbed the Metronome Miracle. There was no way of knowing what move her Clefable would use, but she had trained her and Piplup to be adaptable to whatever might happen. It drove the crowd crazy to see what kind of move Clefable would use, and how Piplup would deal with it.

A barrage of rocks started to fall from the ceiling as Clefable wagged its glowing fingers back and forth. Piplup stared up at them, eyes narrowing with determination. This was the kind of move they had trained for the most, and even after years on the sidelines, he was ready to go for it. As the rocks fell down to the stage, Piplup jumped, landing on one and jumping before it crashed to the ground. He jumped higher and higher, bouncing off each rock with nary a pause. Then, when there was only one rock left, he jumped off it and started to fall down to the stage, which was now a good twenty feet beneath his little body.

The audience gasped, watching with a mixture of fascination and horror as Piplup plummeted to the ground. Of course, Dawn wouldn't let her precious starter get hurt. "Clefable, use Protect!" Holding out her hands, Clefable created a protective barrier around Piplup. It allowed him to hit the ground without any damage, and he was immediately able to transition into his next move.

Everybody was cheering as Piplup jumped back into the air, spitting out a stream of water. Clefable waved her hands, using Psychic to keep him up in the air. He spun around Clefable, surrounding her with a ring of water. Then, still under the influence of Psychic, he started surfing around the ring, looking mighty proud of himself as the crowd continued to cheer. It was such a familiar feeling that Dawn got lost in it for a moment, almost forgetting that she was in the middle of something.

"Piplup, jump!" Clefable released Piplup from her psychic hold as he jumped, lifting her arms up to send the ring of water up into the air. As Piplup landed, puffing his chest out proudly, the water suddenly dispersed, falling onto the stage in a fine mist. Dawn checked herself in time, remembering to pose with her Pokémon as they were shrouded in the mist. She had barely moved from her spot, but she felt a rush of exhilaration that she hadn't felt in a long time.

Everybody was standing up and cheering, but she was staring off into nothing. She couldn't focus on any of them, but she could feel their cheers. It was powerful, nearly knocking her off her feet. It reminded her of the first time she ever competed in a contest. She had never felt more alive, and being given the ribbon that showed she was the winner made her feel like the happiest girl in the world. Where had those emotions gone?

She curtsied as minimalistic as she could to avoid flashing anyone, even though she was wearing shorts underneath. Then she put her Pokémon back in their balls and walked backstage, her heart hammering in her ribcage. Once she was out of the audience's eye, she leaned against the wall and placed a hand over her chest. That had been... more than she could begin to explain. It felt like she was about to pass out from it.

Her heart was still thumping loudly when she heard the judges over the loudspeaker, about to make their decision. That young woman who had told her she was up was near her now, ready to bring whoever the winner was back onto the stage. There was a part of her that wasn't surprised when she heard her name called out, followed by uproarious applause. It didn't truly register until the woman started tugging on her arm, though.

"They're calling you!" she called out, clearly wanting Dawn to get on stage instead of spacing out. She did make it onto the stage, though that was more because of the woman pushing her out than doing so under her own power. Standing on that stage, with the sounds of victory in her ears, she didn't know what to think. It was so familiar in a comforting sense, but also brought more emotions than she could process to the forefront. There was excitement, hope, confusion, worry, and guilt. With everything jostling for position at the forefront of her mind, the only thing her body knew to do was start to cry.

Realizing she was crying filled her with a new emotion: embarrassment. She had never cried on stage before. There wasn't any performance anxiety or stage fright that haunted her, and if she ever lost a competition, she would still be backstage when the waterworks came. This was new, and it was mortifying. She didn't want to cry in front of everyone, least of all Cynthia. Though she hadn't seen the former Champion yet, she knew she was out there. Having her see her cry was not going to happen if she could help it.

Trying to bring about a distraction, she sent her Pokémon out to soak in some of the adoration. That seemed to help, particularly because Piplup could be quite the showman. He paraded around the stage like he owned it, which made some of the audience laugh. Normally she would roll her eyes at such a display, as she used to, but she was just glad for the reprieve. It allowed her to wipe her eyes and look more presentable.

She was much more composed when the head judge awarded her a ribbon she already owned. However, it had a slightly different design than she remembered. Still, it was pretty much the same one she had won years ago. She wasn't going to deny it, however. That would be awkward for everyone involved. So she took it with a 'thank you', smiled and waved at the cheering audience, then went into the locker room to get changed.

When she came back out, Cynthia was there to greet her. While she was still feeling out of sorts, Cynthia was much more eager. As soon as they were within arm's reach of each other, she was suddenly swept up into a tight hug. She let out a squeak of surprise right as her face was shoved into Cynthia's chest. Well, that was another emotion for the pile. She certainly had a very nice bosom on her...

"Congratulations, Dawn! You were incredible up there!" Cynthia pulled her away from her chest, allowing her to breathe. She didn't seem to notice her predicament, though, as she was all smiles. "I knew you still had it in you."

"Yeah, I... I suppose I did too." She didn't want to dump all her confusing feelings on Cynthia, so she had to be as vague as possible. It had quickly become established that she struggled to lie to Cynthia, so as long as she wasn't _truly_ lying, then she could hold onto her feelings for a bit longer. Cynthia wanted to see the ribbon, so she pulled it out of her jacket pocket and showed it off. It felt strange showing something off that she wasn't sure she had earned, but she had to admit that it kind of felt good. She was reminded of how happy she had been winning them in the beginning, showing them excitedly to her mother during video calls. Plus, it didn't hurt that someone so cool and good-looking like Cynthia was so interested in her.

They left the stadium before people started to crowd around them. If they were already interested in her after that performance, imagine what they'd do if they noticed Cynthia there too. As quick as they could, they made for their hotel, but there seemed to be something on Cynthia's mind as they power-walked in that direction. It made her feel curious, but she didn't want to bring it up if Cynthia didn't want to mention it yet.

"Hmm, you know..." Thankfully, it seemed like Cynthia wanted to talk about it, and Dawn was all ears. At least, she _was_ thankful, until she heard what Cynthia had been thinking of. "That outfit you wore was really cute on you. I remember you wearing it years ago. Maybe you should wear it more often." She said it so casually, like telling someone they were cute in an outfit and that they should keep wearing it was normal conversation fodder. Maybe it was for _her_ , but Dawn...

"Th-Thank you," she murmured, going red in the face as she lagged a couple steps behind Cynthia. She didn't want her to see how utterly embarrassed that comment had made her. Cynthia thought she was cute... How was she supposed to take that? It was just a passing compliment, right? It had to be. There was no way someone like her was interested in her. She couldn't help but let that thought marinate in her mind, and... well, it sounded really nice, as impossible as it was.

Blushing the entire way back to the hotel, she was secretly thankful she had decided to pack that outfit 'for old time's sake'.


	3. the line between uncomfortable and way too comfortable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawn struggles to deal with what's happening upon finding a single bed in their hotel room.

She laid on the queen-sized bed in the hotel room, feeling predictably overwhelmed. There were so many thoughts going through her mind that she was forced to start categorizing them in order to keep herself from drowning. Normally she wasn't a list maker: from what she'd learned, most trainers took things one step at a time. Do it first, then start thinking about what was next afterwards. Maybe that was why they were all so woefully unprepared to be productive members of society.

The first and somehow most sensible thing for her to focus on was the contest. She had not gone on that adventure to get back to her roots. To be fair, she hadn't given a thought to what she might find out about herself: another failing of self, she supposed. The return of contests to her life had always held the potential to happen, but she hadn't expected it to involve her participating in them. Watching them? Sure, she could imagine that would happen, but not getting on stage again.

Now she had to contend with the nervous thrill she had felt performing again. It hadn't felt like she had missed a beat. Everything returned to her all at once, and she had performed unconsciously. The moves and the patterns her Pokémon needed to follow were as familiar as her own name. It was likely that some people in the audience wouldn't have guessed she had been gone so long.

What was she supposed to do about that, though? She already knew that returning to being a coordinator would do nothing for her. Her limits were well-established, so there was no need for her to rehash them to herself. Finding out that she still had her talents and stage presence inside her didn't prove anything, except maybe that she was more likely to cling desperately to the past than move on like the rest of her classmates. What a drag that would turn out to be. She couldn't let her family and friends down like that.

Now that those worries were compartmentalized and unsolved, she could start thinking about some new things that were much more recent. In fact, they had all happened in the space of a couple hours. All of it revolved around Cynthia, the beautiful, powerful former Champion who was proving herself to be a little too human for her tastes.

She couldn't stop thinking of how excited Cynthia was to put her back on stage, like a proud parent showing her daughter off to the whole world. Ah, but saying 'proud parent' made the rest of it incredibly awkward. There was nothing parental about the things that had been happening since the contest ended. She had not gone many minutes without thinking about how Cynthia had called her 'cute' in her old traveling outfit. How she should 'wear it more often'. Parents called their children cute. She had been called cute by her own mother before. This was different, though. The tone was much less innocent than a mom would use, and 'wear it more often'? Yeah, no parent would say that to their own kid. That was territory she was wandering around blindly in.

Then there was the more human side to the mystifying figure that she had become privy to in the hotel room. They had ordered room service and eaten their unhealthy wares on the bed, watching television and chatting amicably. It had felt as if she was talking to a longtime friend rather than someone she had never spoken to before that day. Every time her mind would make her aware of how strange a situation she was in, Cynthia would speak and draw her right back in. That said nothing of the one bed hotel room they were in either.

She groaned loudly as she hid her face under her hat. It had been a bit embarrassing when Cynthia mentioned they'd be staying in the same room for the night, but she had convinced herself that it wasn't a big deal. There would be two beds, and it was only so they - as well as Garchomp - could rest up for the next day's travels. Walking into the room and finding a single bed had her frozen in the doorway. It was a queen size, she told herself. There would be room between them, she told herself. However, there was nothing she could tell herself that would assuage the stomach-gnawing nerves that came with knowing that they were sleeping in the same bed together.

"Is everything alright?" The sound of Cynthia's voice broke through her mental list-making. She pulled her hat off her face and sat up, finding Cynthia standing in the space between the bathroom and the room proper. There was a towel in her hair, and she had clearly been in the middle of drying it off, but that was a secondary area for her attention to focus on. The most important - and most embarrassing - part was the fact that a towel was the _only_ thing Cynthia was wearing. "I thought I heard a groaning out here."

"I'm fine," she murmured, but it must have been obvious that she was anything _but_ that. With how much warmth she could feel in her face, she knew that she was blushing something fierce. Who could blame her, though? She was sitting a good ten or fifteen feet from the luxurious body of the most well-known woman in Sinnoh, a mere towel clinging to her perfectly curvaceous frame. No matter how hard she tried to look away, she couldn't do it. Her body revolted against the thought of missing such a sight for any amount of time. "Sorry..." Sorry for making her think there was a problem, or that she was so shamelessly ogling her? She didn't know which.

"Oh, it's no problem at all." Smiling, she sauntered out of the bathroom, or maybe she was just walking normally and her brain was just imagining it. "You can use the shower now if you want. I left some warm water for you, just in case." A shower did sound like a good idea. Or, rather, being in a different room than Cynthia - with a lock, specifically - sounded good. Nodding mutely, she fumbled with the zipper on her bag, hastily pulling out her nightwear and rushing into the bathroom.

Once the door was shut and locked, she stepped across the floor, slightly wet from Cynthia's footsteps. There was a small, empty basket underneath the sink which she used to put her nightclothes in, then she stripped off her current outfit and hung it all up on the towel rack above the toilet. It was a nice bathroom, but there wasn't a lot of room to put her stuff. Not unless she wanted to leave it on the wet floor... or leave it out where Cynthia was. Maybe the floor wasn't such a bad idea.

At least there was still warm water, like Cynthia said. She sighed with temporary relief as she stepped under the water, letting it douse her worried skin. With her eyes closed, she could at least pretend she was somewhere else. Of course, back at school was off the table, so she pretended that she was under a secret waterfall. There was no one else there: just her and the clean, clear water cascading down her body. It was a little embarrassing that she was naked even in her fantasy, though.

She ran her fingers through her hair, breathing deeply to try and let out all the anxieties that had made themselves a little home inside her. Under that fantasy waterfall, her hair was being run through with gentle fingers as well, but they weren't her own. That was confusing enough to make her open her eyes, breaking the fantasy. Ah, but she had to find the shampoo anyway, so she supposed it didn't matter much.

Things were alright as she worked on her hair, but washing down her body was a different story. When she closed her eyes again, there were indeed a pair of hands soaping up her naked body, but again, they weren't hers. This time, she was able to see who it was: Cynthia was standing in front of her, wearing nothing but her towel, her hands caressing her breasts and stomach with a seductive look in her eyes.

Her eyes went wide as she took a step back, which caused her to slip on the wet basin. "Fuck!" She spun around as she fell, throwing her arms out to try and stunt her descent. They hit the sides of the tub, which gave her a temporary reprieve: one that she could barely register before she finished her trip down. While her left hand stayed firmly - and painfully - against the side of the tub, her right immediately slid down the wall and made her faceplant against the basin.

She decided to just lay there with her face against the floor, feeling the water pouring down on her. Various parts of her body hurt, particularly her hands, but it was her own fault. She was the one who had been fantasizing about someone she absolutely should not be doing any such thing about. This was another worry to add to the checklist, huh? At least her fantasies didn't hurt anyone, but... they sure did make her feel weird... and had also made her slip and fall in a hotel bathtub.

"Dawn? Are you okay?" She could hear Cynthia calling out to her, knocking on the door. Well, now she couldn't lay face down in the tub and think about her actions any more. At least not until she let Cynthia know that she was okay. She must have heard her shout as she fell, and there was no way of entering with the door locked. If she stayed silent, she'd probably head down and get security. There were better ways of being seen naked.

"I'm fine! I just slipped!" She might as well cop to it. It was wet, and sometimes those things just happened. She didn't need to admit _why_ she slipped: that wasn't pertinent information. Hopefully that would be enough to placate Cynthia.

"Okay, well if anything's wrong, let me know." Whether or not Cynthia believed her didn't matter. The important part was that she seemed to move away from the door, which let her sigh with relief. She picked herself off the floor, groaning at the pain in her palms and wrists. Finishing her shower was sure not going to be fun, but at least the pain might distract her from the thoughts that had caused that pain in the first place.

* * *

She was able to finish her shower in relative peace, by which she meant no more accidents. Once the water was turned off and she was drying off her hair, the thoughts returned in full force. It was worse than before, actually, since now she got to think about how she had been _fantasizing_ about Cynthia touching her naked body. What was she supposed to say about that? Of course Cynthia was attractive. That was as objective a fact as there was. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that she specifically was attracted to Cynthia, though.

It was fine to be attracted to someone. She knew that, and she usually wouldn't be so spun out over it. Sure, she'd be embarrassed, but it wouldn't be as bad as it was now. It was a combination of who she was attracted to and the fact that same someone was staying in the same hotel room as her. She was comfortable walking around in nothing but a towel. They were going to sleep in the same bed together. That was enough to make her question a lot of things, and helpfully gain no useful answers.

While getting ready for bed, she tried her best to shake it off. She couldn't be thinking things like that: not when she had an indeterminate amount of traveling time left. Maybe Cynthia was being innocent with her previous words, or maybe it didn't matter what her intentions were. Wouldn't it be wrong to get into a relationship like that regardless? Did she even want that? ... Ah, she was doing a terrible job of not thinking about it.

Her mind was heavy as she finished getting ready for bed. She kept thinking of Cynthia waiting for her on the bed as she folded her towel and hung it on the rack. Putting on a fresh pair of underwear and her pajamas, she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. If only half of a day was able to get her into such a state, what would she be like the longer they were on their adventure?

Any hope of something resembling normalcy was dashed when she walked out of the bathroom and found Cynthia still sitting on the bed in her towel. A blush immediately burned on her face. There was no way she was planning on sleeping in that, right? That would be uncomfortable as all hell. "Um, Cynthia? I'm done... Are you... going to sleep in that?" She didn't want to bring it up: that was the last thing she wanted to do. It was impossible to _not_ say anything, though.

"Hm? Ah, no, of course not." Cynthia laughed, as if it were the most normal thing in the world. "I was just worried when I heard you shouting that I completely forgot to change." She smiled sheepishly, standing up and grabbing her bag. "I'm going to change now, if that's okay." She put her bag down on the bed, unzipping it and pulling out her nightwear.

"I'll... turn around..." With her face as red as a tomato, she spun around and faced the door. She was just slow enough to catch a hint of Cynthia's towel falling before she completely turned around, which was now taking up a good part of her thinking process. This was beyond 'Cynthia in a towel' levels. This was now 'Cynthia completely naked' levels, and she was going to _die_. The temptation to turn around was tremendous, and only through the threat of total mortification did she keep her eyes on the straight and narrow.

"You can turn around now, Dawn." Cynthia's airy laugh made her turn around, even if she wasn't ready for what she was about to see. Thankfully, Cynthia had gotten dressed, though it wasn't enough to keep her heart from trying to compete in its own coordinator competition. Her night attire was just a pair of black shorts and matching top, trimmed with gold that perfectly matched her image. The top was also relatively short, exposing her entire midriff. It made her own pale pink pajamas, fully covering her body, look childish in comparison.

"Yeah, I can," she muttered like the idiot she was. Cynthia's skin looked really smooth. It probably felt nice after a shower; probably smelled nice too. She was losing herself, clearly. As far as she knew, her thoughts were written all over her face. "Should we... go to bed? Long flight and all." Getting into bed would bring about a new basket of problems, but at least falling asleep would take her out for some time. It would also help hide the arousal and guilt that she was feeling, and that she was sure could be read right from her expression.

"Ah yes, that _is_ true." Smiling, Cynthia picked her bag off the bed and set it down next to the nightstand. That was Dawn's cue to grab her own bag and shove her dirty clothes into it, tossing it onto the nearby chair and crawl under the covers. She was feeling warm, but she needed a place to try and hide. Underneath the covers was her best bet. "Sleep well, Dawn." She couldn't help but tilt her head, watching Cynthia gracefully get underneath the covers as well, rolling on her side so she could turn off the light.

"You too..." In the dark, she could see Cynthia staring at her. It was an intense gaze that she couldn't look away from. She wasn't sure what it meant, though. If there was something Cynthia was trying to indicate through her eyes, she was too weak to figure it out. Eventually, she smiled under the blanket of night, mouthing 'Goodnight' before lying down and rolling onto her side again.

She mouthed it back into the darkness, flopping down on her back. Her head sunk into the pillow, everything feeling so warm and strange. Sleep was certainly not on the menu, even if she was the one who suggested they go to bed. She would shudder every time her foot accidentally brushed against Cynthia's legs, letting her know that yes, her skin _was_ smooth. It felt like the distance between them didn't exist. They might as well have been lying on top of each other.

The faint light of the moon could be seen between the slit in between the curtains, pulled shut to leave the room dark. It was the only light she had in that moment, besides the little red dots on the electronics against the wall. She couldn't believe this was happening. When she had thrown caution to the wind and joined Cynthia on an unknown adventure, she had just wanted to get away from school and the crushing reality of a future she wasn't prepared to deal with. Now she couldn't deal with the _present_ , much less the future. What in the world was going on with her life?


	4. i'll melt in your cold embrace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cynthia and Dawn head north to Snowpoint City, where the excitable gym leader Candice gives Dawn a lot to think about.

They were in the air the next day, flying through the sky on the back of Garchomp. Holding onto Cynthia felt so much different than it had less than twenty-four hours ago. She was in the same position as last time, but she felt a lot closer than before. It wasn't helpful that her body and mind were okay with it, though. She wrapped her arms tightly around Cynthia's waist, pressing her cheek against her back. There was a hint of her natural scent embedded in the fabric of her outfit, even if the wind whipping around them was trying to destroy her sense of smell. It was embarrassingly comforting.

When she had woken up in an initially-unfamiliar bed, Cynthia was already dressed, sitting against the headrest and drinking a cup of coffee. She had been looking at something on her phone, but she turned to greet her while she was attempting to jostle herself awake. "Did you sleep well?" She didn't sound exhausted at all. Of course, she likely wasn't kept up all night thinking of unmentionable thoughts, and then being woken up by dreams of said unmentionables.

She didn't have to worry about the dreams while flying, but she _was_ worrying about what else she was going to have to deal with. It was undeniable that she was attracted to Cynthia, which had more cans of worms than she cared to open. Maybe it would be easy enough to ignore those feelings and just deal with whatever lay ahead in their adventures. That was easier said than done when Cynthia kept up flirtations _just_ mild enough for plausible deniability, but existent enough to keep her reaching.

The further north they went, the colder it got. She shivered and held Cynthia tighter. As a coordinator, she hadn't spent much time where they were going. Snowpoint was far up north, and it seemed to snow constantly, even in the summer. It was a hazard to make it there by foot, and the weather conditions made both flying and sailing difficult all the same. One would have to wait for the perfect weather in order to travel there, but Cynthia didn't seem bothered by it. Neither did her Garchomp. Despite how little Dragon types cared for ice and snow, he was pushing through without pause.

It was beautiful up there, though. Yes, it was cold and felt dangerous, at least to her, but there was a beauty to it that she wouldn't get on the ground. They were up high enough that she felt like she could touch the gray clouds above them. Obviously she couldn't, and she wasn't letting go of Cynthia for a second to prove it, but they really did look that close. The ground was also quite a sight from high above. The further north they got, the more snow-covered the grounds were. She liked seeing everything blanketed in purity as they flew by.

Eventually they reached their next stop: Snowpoint City. It seemed that their true destination was still too far, so Garchomp needed a rest, especially in their current conditions. She couldn't blame him, since she needed one too, and she wasn't the one flying. They had stopped in the Pokémon Center to give Garchomp a good checkup when the sight of someone froze Cynthia at the entrance.

"Well I'll be damned... if it isn't Cynthia herself." A woman with black pigtails chuckled at the sight of the former Champion, walking over with a cheeky grin on her face. It took a moment, but she recognized the woman as none other than Candice, the Snowpoint gym leader. She had never reached the point where she would have actually challenged her to a gym battle, but she'd seen her on TV a couple times. Every young person tended to know all of the gym leaders.

"Candice. It's good to see you again." Cynthia was back to normal, leaving Dawn's side to embrace Candice. "I hope you're getting more challenges from trainers than you used to."

"Nah, not many are brave enough to come up to my winter wonderland. I've gotta make up my own challenges to keep myself occupied. Sometimes Candice will even challenge Candice!" She laughed heartily, leaving an arm around Cynthia's shoulders as she stayed close to her. They looked like they had known each other for a long time. "I haven't lost yet, of course."

"I believe that means you haven't won either." At that point, Candice noticed that Cynthia hadn't come in alone. Her eyes immediately started checking Dawn out, so Cynthia decided to try and run interference. "Ah, this is my associate, Dawn. She's a student at Jubilife University, and a very skilled coordinator." She wanted to mention that she was a _former_ coordinator, but she kept that to herself.

"A university student, you say?" Candice stepped away from Cynthia and walked over towards Dawn. The interference Cynthia tried to run would not be successful. "Well, that's not surprising. You sure do have a type, don't ya Cindy?" She walked around Dawn's body, examinging her like a judge. It was somewhat unnerving, not to mention embarrassing. Also confusing, because... Cynthia had a type? And it was _her_?

"You're exaggerating, Candice," she replied, though the faint blush on her face gave away that it wasn't completely untrue. Dawn's eyes widened, thinking of what truths were being implicated there. If Candice was to be believed, Cynthia had a type, and whatever that exactly was, she fell into that circle. What she was supposed to do with that information, she wasn't sure. It was at least a big-enough distraction to make her forget that she was being ogled.

"I dunno about that." Still grinning, she now put her arm around Dawn's shoulders, drawing her in. "Hey, if you two are resting up here, why not stay at my place? I could use the company, and I've got _lots_ of stuff I can tell ya." Perhaps she was speaking to both of them, but her eyes were on Dawn, as if she couldn't wait to divulge secrets about Cynthia that weren't for the public to hear. It excited her more than it should have.

"Candice, I don't think that's necessary." Despite the embarrassment she must have been going through, Cynthia remained under control as she always did. However, it didn't seem like her calm rejection was going to work, nor did it seem like she was going to bother pushing it. Candice was insistent, and in the end all three of them were heading up to her house in the very northern part of the city.

Dawn kicked as much snow as she could off her boots before entering Candice's home, removing the footwear at the entrace and taking a look inside. It wasn't a big house, but it looked pretty cozy. Everything was wood panneling, without a scrap of carpet in sight. She remembered sliding across the family kitchen in her socks when she was little, and looking down at her feet, the thought was tempting. The last thing she wanted to do was look silly in front of a prestigious gym leader, though.

That didn't mean said prestigious gym leader was worried about looking silly, though. On the contrary, _she_ was the one who started sliding off towards the kitchen in her blue and white-striped knee-high socks, shouting happily as she skid across the floor. "Who's up for food?!" She could only watch her go in slack-jawed disbelief. Turning to Cynthia, she saw her shake her head with a fond smile on her face.

"You seem surprised. Not all gym leaders are as stoic and uptight as you might see on television. Especially not when it comes to Candice." Laughing, she started following Candice into the kitchen. "There are gym leaders who are younger than you, and they have every right to act their age if they wish." She disappeared into the kitchen, and now Dawn was alone in the hallway. Biting on her lip, she listened to make sure neither of them were coming back. Then she got a running start and slid across the floor.

* * *

Dinner was pretty good food-wise. Candice was a good cook, and she whipped them up a nice-tasting meal in no time. She was also quite the talker: a sharp contrast to Cynthia's mature, thought-out way of speaking, as well as Dawn's desire to stay in the background and not speak up in general. That didn't seem to matter to Candice, who was more than happy to steer the conversation on her own.

"So, where did you two meet?" Of course, it was only natural that the conversation eventually came to be about the two of them. She had been expecting it, if not dreading it a little. Maybe 'dreading' wasn't the right word, but she wasn't sure what was. It would be better if she knew where this was all going, but she was only kind of walking in the light. If she thought she knew what Candice was going to say, or how Cynthia felt about it, she was surely stepping back into the shadows.

"We met at my school. She was giving a speech and she allowed me to come with her on her adventure." The question seemed to be addressed to her, but she felt like she had to be cautious with her answers. She got the feeling that Candice was looking for something, and she wasn't sure whether it was good or bad to give it to her.

"So you just went up to her and asked to tag along, and she agreed? No questions asked?" Okay, so she had already stepped into a pitfall. That much was very clear.

"Uh, you... you mean if _I_ asked a question?" Because she hadn't. She had been the one practically begging Cynthia to be taken along for the ride.

"No, not you: her." She pointed at Cynthia with her fork, grinning between bites of her food. For her part, Cynthia looked rather impassive. There was something going on in her eyes, but Dawn couldn't tell what it was.

"Uh, no, I guess not." She had just assumed that something about her had caused Cynthia to say yes. Whether it was her drive or perhaps her pathetic nature, she didn't care what the reason was. All that mattered was that she got out of school for a spell.

"Well, either way, you two are very cute together. You are _definitely_ her type." Candice started laughing at the blush on her face, which she couldn't stop from spreading despite herself. "Oh, you are a gem, you know? I bet they don't mine many of you underground." She then turned towards Cynthia, who was looking more pale than anything. "Much more than I ever was, I'm sure."

"Wait, you two..." Dawn's eyes widened, looking between Candice and Cynthia. She shook her head, dropping her fork on her plate. "No way..."

"Yeah way! Candice has a way with the ladies, let me tell ya." Candice - the ladykiller herself - roared with laughter, shaking the table when she pounded it with her fist. "Oops, sorry!" She put her silverware back on her plate, which had been rattled off, before she continued. "A few years ago, the two of us had a little something together. Nothing major, but oh was I in love." She smiled big and bright, seemingly lost in the past. "I'm a bit of a romantic, you know? I thought I was going to be swept up off my feet and carried away from my gym duties since she wasn't the Champion anymore."

"What happened?" She felt a strange sensation in her stomach thinking about Cynthia being with someone else, but she couldn't deny her curiosity. Besides, Cynthia was quite a bit older than she was. It was only natural that she had taken a lover or two in the past, as weird as it was to think that. She wondered if it was okay to ask such a question, but Cynthia didn't make any motion to stop her.

"Oh, we both wanted different things. I was young and starstruck, thinking I had found the woman I would spend my life with. She was just trying to find herself after no longer being the Champion. We mutually agreed to part ways before too long." It sounded like a somber tale, and Cynthia's tight expression seemed to support that. However, Candice didn't seem bothered at all. On the contrary, she seemed rather nostalgic.

"Are you..." She wasn't sure how appropriate it was to ask if the two of them were okay being in the same room together. Broken relationships weren't a familiar topic to her. She had an ex, yes, but that had been a fleeting friendship-relationship. 

"Okay? Yeah! I mean, I invited you both into my house, didn't I?" She kept laughing, and it all seemed so genuine. It really did seem like she didn't care about what her ex was doing, up to the point of making flirtatious comments _about_ the two of them together. "Besides, I'm always looking for the one, you know? Candice will find her soulmate, and that's a guarantee you can take home to mama. So what about you two?" She pivoted the conversation less than delicatly: like whiplash. "Has Cynthia shown you that Champion sound yet?"

"The what?" That sounded sexual, but she didn't know _why_. What in the world was the 'Champion sound?' It wasn't an answer she was going to get, however, as Cynthia finally decided enough was enough.

"Candice? I wonder how your construction business is going." Like a professional conversationalist, Cynthia expertly dodged away from the increasingly sexual talk, pivoting towards a much more wholesome topic. It was always impressive how calm she could be in the face of such adversity.

"Huh? Oh, yeah! It's going great! We're really making headway in getting stuff built out here! Nobody will say that it's too cold and snowy to have industry here, that's for sure!" Candice pumped her fist proudly, talking about construction jargon that went in one ear and out the other. Cynthia seemed invested, not to mention relieved, but Dawn's mind was not on construction. It was naturally on the previous conversation.

She was still reeling from the fact that Cynthia and Candice had a prior relationship. They had been together, as in _really_ together, though it didn't sound like they were together for a long time. There was something about Candice that appealed to Cynthia, and yet according to Candice, it was _her_ who was more Cynthia's type. Why? What did that mean? The reason wasn't clear, and she had a feeling that she wouldn't get an answer. Her curiosity was going to kill her, though.

She had to wait until dinner was over before she could make her move. It was agonizing waiting for a moment when she could get Candice alone, but she finally found it when Cynthia excused herself to use the restroom. As soon as she vanished from view, Dawn was in front of Candice, biting her lip and squirming in place. It was easier to think about asking the all-important questions than actually asking them.

"Why... Why did you say I'm Cynthia's type?"

"Because you are? Duh." Candice grinned from ear to ear, clearly excited to be having this conversation. "Here's what you gotta know. Cindy loves herself a college girl: young, shapely, just making their way out in the world. What you have that I didn't is a need to discover yourself. I've been a gym leader since I was a teenager. My path in the world has long been set. You, though? I can tell you're still looking for yours." She looked surprisingly sage for a woman who had slid across her own floor in her socks. In fact, she looked more like a true blue gym leader than at any point that evening. "I mean, you _did_ ask to go adventuring with her the moment she gave you a little speech."

She couldn't deny that. It was obvious that she didn't know where her life was going. That was indeed the entire reason she was there. "Yes, but that doesn't mean I came to get into a relationship!" There were a handful of reasons she was doing what she was doing, but finding a partner was not one of them. Getting into a whirlwind affair wasn't on the docket. Just because she was becoming extremely entranced by Cynthia didn't mean anything.

"Of course not. I didn't either, ya know." She laughed, placing a hand on Dawn's shoulder. It surprised her at first, but it felt strangely reassuring. "Cindy has a prescence about her that draws you in. Trying to deny her is foolish. If she wants you, she's gonna get you. Has she made any moves?" She leaned in close, her breath smelling like the dinner they'd just eaten. "She given you any signs she wants that young booty?"

"Kind of." She blushed at Candice's terminology, but she got the gist of it. "It felt like she was flirting with me in our hotel room, and I don't think it was accidental... But why would she flirt with me? She doesn't even know me." The answer was clear, though, even if she wasn't sure she liked it. If it was true that Cynthia liked girls similar to her, then it was more about her looks and situation than, say, her personality. It made her feel discouraged, yet hopeful all the same. Regardless of how Cynthia felt about her, she knew that she was feeling a certain way about _her_. Was it worth the risk to propose anything, though?

"You should enjoy yourself! Besides, you never know if you're gonna be the one to tame the wild Champion." Her laughter made it seem like a joke, but Dawn wasn't so sure. "All of us should be looking for the love we want. That's what makes life worth living! Well, that and a nice, cuddly Glaceon." Cuddling an Ice-type Pokémon? Well, that was the Ice-type gym leader for you.

"I'll think about it..." She certainly would, but that didn't mean she was going to make any sort of move. It wasn't in her nature: not anymore, at least. Besides, this was much bigger than jumping on stage and participating in contests. This was making a move on the former Champion. That was uncharted territory for her, and she wasn't sure she could do it. She did want to try, though...

* * *

That night, she got the feeling that sleep would again be tough to come by. She laid in bed in her pajamas, having finished her shower. All she had to do was wait for Cynthia to finish hers. It wasn't a surprise when Candice told them that she only had one bed in the guest room. Cynthia had suggested that she could sleep on the couch, but she had suddenly spoke up and said that wasn't fair. Whether it was or wasn't fair, she had spoken without thinking, suggesting that _she_ be the one to sleep on the couch. Since neither of them could agree, that meant they were both sleeping in the same bed again.

She could hear the sound of the shower stop from outside the hall, and she knew her time to make a decision was dwindling. The covers had to be pushed off, as she was sweating from her nerves. What was she going to do if Candice's hunch was wrong, and Cynthia wasn't actually into her? What would she do if she was _right_? No matter what, the consequences scared her. It felt like she was in way over her head.

She continued to think about whether or not she wanted to make a move, or if she _should_ make a move, until Cynthia came into the room. Already in her pajamas, she smiled when she noticed Dawn looking at her. "You're ready for bed?" She came over and sat down on her side of the bed, picking her phone off of the nightstand to check something.

"Almost." She found her eyes glued to Cynthia, taking in her incredible aura. It was less traditional breathtaking and more like the wind had been knocked out of her. She was being gut-punched, and it was causing her to trip over her own words. "Cynthia, I... I think- I mean, I wanna ask..." She started to blush, drowning in self-doubt as she reached out to hold Cynthia's sleeve. "Do you like me?"

"Now where is this coming from?" Cynthia was still smiling, but something in her eyes changed. It was hard to tell what exactly it meant, but she knew more than she wanted to let on. "Of course I like you, Dawn. You're quite the talented young coordinator, you know."

"That's not what I mean." They both knew that, but it felt more real when it was said out loud. "I want to know if you _like_ me, like Candice was talking about. Would you... be with me, tonight?" She could scarcely believe what she was saying. It didn't sound like something she would say. In fact, it felt like an out of body experience. She was floating above the bed, watching her hand tug on Cynthia's sleeve, trying to bring her closer. She watched her tongue subtly cross her lips, her nose crinkle ever-so slightly.

"Dawn, I'm not sure about this." Seeing Cynthia hesitate made her falter. She had been sure that there was some flirtation going on, even before Candice had clued her in. Now that Cynthia wasn't all-in like she thought made her wonder if she had been wrong. It had been such obvious flirtations, though. The 'cute' remarks, the changing in front of her: that couldn't have been nothing.

"I thought you liked me, though." She cringed at how whiny she sounded, desperatly trying to make a quick 180. "You were acting like you wanted me back in Eterna." She laid a hand on Cynthia's leg, letting it creep up her thigh. Cynthia looked down at it, her eyes widening before they came back up to focus on her. It felt like her body was acting on its own, but she knew that, at least in that moment, she wanted Cynthia. She wanted her _badly_. More than she could possibly understand, and it made her unable to stop. "Well, I kind of want you now too."

Cynthia didn't say anything after that. She bit down on her lip, seeming more vulnerable, more _human_ than at any point in their little adventure. It made her seem even more desirable, which was what spurred Dawn on to cross the threshold of no return. She leaned in close, crossing the distance between them and capturing Cynthia's lips with hers.

Her first kiss tasted clean: Cynthia had brushed her teeth before bed, and her toothpaste had a nice minty taste. She wasn't sure whether or not her kiss was good enough for someone as experienced as Cynthia. If she was being too timid, or too forceful, too prude or too messy, she wasn't in the right mindset to know. Whatever Cynthia was thinking, she didn't pull away to express it. Instead, she put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her in to return that kiss.

Once her kiss was reciprocated, she was offically no longer in control. Cynthia had her arms wrapped around her back, pulling her close. She didn't resist, feeling much comfortable sitting in the passenger seat. Cynthina obviously knew what she was doing, and that was good enough for her. What was _better_ was knowing that some part of Cynthia wanted her too. Whatever that part was, it didn't matter. She certainly wasn't thinking as sensibly as she may have a couple of days ago, so it wasn't a concern whether or not Cynthia was either.

Cynthia finally pulled away from their kiss, appearing no worse for wear as Dawn was left panting and dizzy. "Are you sure you want to go further?" It was sweet that consent would be asked for when she was clearly giving no doubt as to what she wanted in that moment. Or maybe it was just perfunctory. Regardless, the answer was the same: yes. There was no doubt that, at least right then, right now, she wanted to be bedded by Cynthia. 

The lights were turned off, and the sounds they made rose above the sheets they found themselves under. None of the sounds were missed by a grinning, bright-eyed Candice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to let y'all know, there WILL be a sex chapter, but since I want to keep this fic rated T, it'll be a separate fic. I'll link to it in the notes of chapter five.


	5. building something within the ruins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cynthia and Dawn finally reach the location Cynthia has been leading them towards, but is this really something that Dawn wants to do? Is her future still up in the air?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a link to the sex chapter I posted separately to keep this at a T rating: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25551394 It should be read before this chapter if you're into that.

When she woke up, Dawn had one of those moments where she forgot where she was. Her mind was drenched with confusion, swimming in the hazy memories of what had happened the previous night. She blinked her tired eyes, wondering why she wasn't in her dorm room. It didn't click immediately: first, she had to roll over and sit up in bed, the covers sliding down her body. She ran a hand through her hair, then down her face as she tried to wake herself up. Where in the world _was_ she?

Wherever she was, it felt cooler than she was used to. Frowning slightly, she looked down at the covers, not recognizing the color and pattern. Then she caught a glimpse of her bare arms, which was weird. She always wore long-sleeved pajamas to bed. Her eyes drifted further inward, and that was when she noticed that it wasn't only her sleeves that were missing. She wasn't wearing _anything_.

Her face started to burn through her confusion as she tried to remember why she was naked. She grabbed the covers and yanked them high, covering herself completely. Something had happened last night... Then it all clicked into place. The confusing flirtations, the pleading, the soft beginning kisses that led to their clothes coming off... Oh Arceus, she had sex with Cynthia last night!

She immediately looked to her right, but there was no one next to her. Where had Cynthia gone? Had she just imagined the two of them had sex, or was it just a wet dream? No, she _swore_ that it was real, but then where had she gone? She had begun looking around for the clothes she had kicked off when the door opened. With a squeal, she dived under the covers, not wanting Candice to see her in such a state.

"It's okay, Dawn. It's me." Cynthia's voice had her sitting up just as quickly, throwing off the covers to see Cynthia standing there with a plate in one hand and a glass of what appeared to be juice in the other. She was fully dressed again, though her sleepwear had been replaced with her usual outfit. Walking over to the bed, she placed the plate down on the side of the bed she had slept on, offering the glass to Dawn. "I thought you might want breakfast in bed."

"Oh, uh, thank you..." She took the glass and looked into it, staring at the liquid. Then she took a sip, seeing the room through the blurry refraction within the glass. It felt like she needed to say something, since staying silent was going to drive her crazy. "So, uh..." She swallowed nervously, leaning back against the headrest so she could busy herself with grabbing the plate Cynthia had brought her. "That was nice, last night, right?"

"Mm, it was wonderful." Smiling, Cynthia gently sat down next to her. She found it hard to make eye contact, so she busied herself with other things: putting the glass down on the nightstand, grabbing the silverware on the plate to cut into her food. "I know a person's first time is special, so I hope you enjoyed it too." Cynthia was worried about _her_ enjoying it? That was not the problem.

"I did! I mean, it was... it was really great." Blushing, she let the conversation fade away as she put food in her mouth. Again, she wasn't hungry, but she needed to use food as a distraction. Cynthia said the sex was wonderful, but was it true, or was she just saying that to mollify her? She had a feeling that she would never find out, as Cynthia was too nice of a person to ever admit something like that.

"I'm glad to hear that." She was surprised to feel Cynthia's lips suddenly against her cheek. That certainly wasn't going to help her blushing problem. She looked over at Cynthia, who was still smiling as genuinely as ever. It didn't even seem like she could lie to someone. Maybe... Maybe she was telling the truth, then. If that was the case, then she didn't have much to worry about. She was even able to smile about it as she put more effort into eating her breakfast.

"Thanks for bringing me breakfast. Are you sure Candice is okay with me eating it in bed?" Of course, she asked that when she was more than halfway done with her food, so it was a bit late to be bringing that up. Plus, if only Candice knew what else they had been doing in that bed... Hopefully she never would.

"Don't worry, I asked her before I brought it in." She gave her another kiss on the cheek, then checked something on her phone while Dawn finished eating. When she was finished, she put the empty plate on the nightstand and gulped down the rest of her juice. She felt surprisingly energized for it being so early in the morning. Assuming it _was_ early, anyway. She didn't know the exact time, but she knew she felt a lot better than she had in... well, quite awhile.

"Well, I suppose I should get ready, then." The fact that Cynthia was fully clothed had not escaped her. It seemed as if she was ready to hit the road, metaphorically speaking. Hopefully she hadn't been waiting too long for her to wake up. She made to get out of bed and start getting dressed: the thought of being naked around Cynthia was embarrassing, but they'd already engaged with each other mere hours ago. It was silly to be embarrassed now, regardless of what her brain wanted her to believe. Before she could even push the covers off completely, however, Cynthia stopped her.

"We don't have to leave _immediately_." Her voice then dropped to a whisper as she sidled up close, her lips brushing against Dawn's ear. "If you'd like, we could enjoy each other's company once more before we depart." The implication was clear in her words. Dawn gulped, her face burning anew as she thought about another round with Cynthia. There was only one answer that was going to come out of her.

"Yes please."

* * *

Later that morning, the two of them were jumping on Garchomp, preparing to take off again. They had said their goodbyes to Candice, who hugged them both and claimed that she'd miss them 'a whole lot.' When she went to hug Dawn, she had whispered to her, "Take good care of Cynthia," and gave her a knowing wink when she pulled away. She couldn't be sure, but she had a feeling that Candice had heard them either last night or that morning. It was so embarrassing...

Thankfully, that embarrassment disappeared as Garchomp flew them further north. It was really cold up there, and she had dressed as warmly as she could to compensate. With the wind blowing in her face and whipping her hair around, she wished that she could wear her trademark hat. Unfortunately, she knew that the high speeds Garchomp was going would cause it to fly off in no time. She'd rather be cold then than lose her hat.

"So I know I haven't asked yet, but where are we going?" she shouted to be heard over the wind. During their previous two flights, she had been mostly quiet because she didn't want to get distracted and let her grip on Cynthia slip. Her sudden fear of the heights they were at prevented her from wanting to engage in any conversation. However, she felt a bit more emboldened thanks to her feeling closer to the woman she was holding onto.

"We're heading to the Sinjoh Ruins!" Cynthia shouted back. "There's something hidden inside that I want to find!" Dawn could only stare at her back in confusion. She had never heard of the Sinjoh Ruins. That actually made her think of something else: they were going pretty far north. Snowpoint was now behind them, and that should have been the end of the region. Where were these ruins if not in Sinnoh?

She ruminated on those thoughts for a while, and imagined that the ruins either weren't in Sinnoh, or they were up so far north that people didn't visit. When she looked down and saw water instead of snow, it became clear that the former was true. She felt a passing sickness the more water she saw. If they happened to fall into the water, they'd be miles from shore. Her Piplup wouldn't be able to swim her all the way back. She would drown. That thought, along with her reluctance to keep shouting her questions, kept her silent for the rest of the trip.

They were in the air for a long time, to the point where she was starting to nod off. When she realized that, she bolted awake, tightening her grip around Cynthia's waist. There was no way she was going to fall asleep and slip off of Garchomp's back. That wasn't how she wanted to go. She kept as alert as she could, but the wind whipping at her body was jumbling her thoughts, and she found it hard to focus on anything in particular.

Finally, after what felt like an entire day in the air, she could see land. The air somehow felt chillier, and she could see the entire ground was covered with snow. When Garchomp landed on solid ground, she slid off her back and crumpled into the snow. Despite how cold it was, she laid her face into the snow and sat there for a moment on her elbows and knees, just soaking in the wonder that was land.

"Relieved?" Cynthia laughed, patting Garchomp on the head before returning her to her Pokéball. Dawn didn't reply, but she didn't have to: her actions spoke the truth. She finally lifted her head up, breathing in the fresh, cold air. Her face was now burning from the cold, proving her previous action to be a mistake. She had known that, and she would own up to it.

"Okay, let's go!" She hopped onto her feet, slapping some warmth into her cheeks. Cynthia laughed at that too, but it was good-natured. Smiling, Cynthia beckoned for her to follow, and the two of them began trudging through ankle-deep snow. It was a slow, tough trudge, and that gave her plenty of time to ask some questions about what they were doing. "So what exactly _are_ the Sinjoh Ruins?"

"It was a temple built centuries ago by two different clans: one from Sinnoh, and the other from Johto. Though we know it was built in Arceus' name, we don't know _why_ they built it here, or how two very different groups came together." Cynthia seemed much more comfortable moving through the snow, while Dawn kept nearly falling over, or pulling her foot right out of her boots. "That's what I want to try and discover today."

"Oh wow..." She could see her breath in the air in front of her. Why would two very different groups of people come all the way up here just to erect a temple? _How_ had they gotten up here? Those were questions she couldn't hope to answer, but Cynthia seemed determined to find those answers. If anyone could, it _would_ be her.

Eventually, their long trudging bore fruit. In the distance, she could see what looked to be a house. There were no other buildings in sight, and the closer they got, the more abandoned the house looked. Made of wood, she couldn't see any smoke coming from the chimney, despite how cold it was. It made her wonder if the house had been built by those worshippers, but there were enough of them that one building certainly wouldn't house them. Where had the rest of them gone?

Cynthia led her to the house, grabbing the door handle and pushing forward. It opened without hesitance, letting out a lonely creak as it swung forward. There were no lights on inside, but it was light enough outside that they could still see. The two of them went in, with Dawn closing the door to avoid letting too much cold in. Inside, she could see that the house seemed relatively untouched for... well, for however long. The place wasn't messy, but all the stuff that still laid out gave off the air of being left to rot.

She immediately went for the fireplace, but was disappointed to find no logs inside. There was what appeared to be a log holder, but no logs on it. The only things there to burn were the furniture, and she wasn't sure that was something they should do. Huffing, she watched her breath fog around her face before heading back to Cynthia.

"There doesn't seem to have been anyone living here in quite awhile." Cynthia voiced out Dawn's own thoughts, looking around the place with curiosity. "Hmm... We should keep going. We'll have to come back here before it gets to be too late, though. Garchomp will need a good rest before we head back." Dawn wasn't sure how comfortable staying in an abandoned house with no heat was going to be, but she just nodded and followed Cynthia back outside.

The reprieve from the weather had been taken for granted. She shuddered and hugged herself when she felt the wind hit her, keeping the door open when she tried to shut it. It took a great effort just to get the door to shut, which was a bad omen as far as she was concerned. Still, Cynthia moved on, and she was forced to move on too, lest she get left behind.

They walked past the house, kicking up snow as they went. Beyond it, a path was forming. The floor was still nothing but snow, but she could see snow-packed walls rising up to greet them on either side. She looked up at them in awe, noting how perfectly-formed they seemed. Further down, she saw what appeared to be the entrance to a cave. There was nowhere else they could go except back.

Stopping at the entrance, Cynthia pulled a Pokéball off her belt and tossed it out. A strange Pokémon that Dawn had never seen before came out. It appeared to be a blue, floating eel, with electricity crackling around its body. Whatever it was, she noticed its purpose immediately: the little yellow pores on its body would light up and give them vision within the dark cave. Cynthia flashed her a reassuring smile, then entered with her strange Pokémon in tow.

She stayed back for a moment, feeling intimidated by the oppressive darkness. Even with the light, it felt like she was entering a gaping maw, and she worried getting lost would lead to her wandering around for the rest of her life. She couldn't back down now, though. This was the adventure she had asked for, after all. It would be silly to get scared and turn back now. With all the confidence she could muster, she followed Cynthia into the depths.

The light coming from Cynthia's Pokémon was strong, illuminating enough of the cave for them to walk safely. Still, she decided it was best to remain as close to Cynthia as possible, just in case. She grabbed onto Cynthia's hand, squeezing it tightly to make sure they didn't get separated. Cynthia looked down at her, smiling in a way that made her realize what position she had put herself in. Blushing, she looked pointedly away, though she still kept holding onto her hand.

Surprisingly, the cave wasn't that deep. It didn't take them long to reach something interesting. There were four huge pillars rising up to the ceiling, with some sort of carving on the floor. When they got closer, she realized that it was a jumble of symbols. She frowned, not knowing what any of them meant. Cynthia seemed to know something, though, as she dropped down to the floor and pulled out her phone.

"Fascinating..." She began to snap pictures, the light from her camera bringing a strange glow to the area. Her Pokémon stayed floating by, making no sounds. It was a little unnerving. "These seem to be a combination of carvings similar to the ones in the Spear Pillar, but also from the Ruins of Alph. This really _is_ a blending of Sinnoh and Johto cultures. Fascinating."

It sure _sounded_ fascinating, but Dawn had no clue what Cynthia was talking about. There wasn't a point in standing around awkwardly, though. If she was there for an adventure, she might as well get down in the trenches too. She got on her knees next to Cynthia, gently running her hand across the tiling. It wasn't an intrinsically-carved piece, but it must have done the job back then. The symbols meant nothing to her, but she did notice that a drawing in the very middle seemed familiar. Crude as it was, she felt that it was supposed to be Arceus.

"Is this Arceus?" She crawled over to the middle, getting a closer look. Cynthia crawled after her, leaning in before taking a picture.

"It looks like it. I wonder if the clan from Sinnoh taught those from Johto about Arceus, or if perhaps it was more well-known among other regions long ago." There was a light in her eyes that shone well beyond what her phone was capable of. She was hyper-focused on the task at hand, wanting to uncover the history behind this strange place. It made her look so attractive.

"Can you hold this please? I want you to film this." Cynthia handed her phone over, which Dawn took and stood back up. Stepping away from the center, she stood just outside the pillars and started to film. She watched as Cynthia pulled what looked like a flute out of her bag and started to play it. It was a solemn but pretty melody, and she found herself spacing out a bit due to the rhythm. 

Suddenly, the entire cave began to shake. Dawn let out a cry of surprise as she jumped back, her eyes wide. Cynthia seemed oblivious to the sudden shaking, continuing to play the flute where she stood. If the cave started to crumble, then they needed to get out immediately. Dawn couldn't move, though. She stayed standing there, staring wide-eyed at Cynthia and not finding the strength to actually make her way towards her.

Finally, she found her voice. "Cynthia! We have to go!" She kept playing that flute, however, and her Pokémon didn't seem concerned either. How was this not concerning?! Everything was shaking violently, nearly making her topple over. She stumbled over towards one of the pillars, holding onto it for support. "Cynthia!" She screamed one last time, then everything shook so much that she was forced to close her eyes.

When she opened them again, she was no longer in the cave. She gasped at the large expanse of space around her. The night sky was spread out as far as she could see, with hundreds of twinkling stars dotting the dark expanse. She took a step back, wondering why she wasn't plummeting into nothingness. Beneath her, however, was the same floor she had been standing on. Well, that still didn't explain how she could breathe in space.

She searched for Cynthia again, quickly finding her still in the same spot. Her arms were now at her side, a blue flute clutched in her left hand. That was when she remembered that she had been filming for Cynthia. She looked down at her hands, finding Cynthia's phone still clutched tightly between them. Had she actually filmed what had just happened? Maybe it would reveal how they were in _space_!

"Cynthia, what's going on?" Her voice came out as a whisper, and it didn't seem as if she had been heard. She started to take a few tentative steps towards the center of the room, but jumped back fast when she saw something rending the space above them. It was as if a hole was being cut out from the sky, destroying every star it touched. Somehow it was even blacker than the black sky. Whatever it was, it terrified her. What had she gotten herself into?

From the hole in the sky came none other than Arceus, the God of creation itself. Her jaw dropped, staring upwards in disbelief. How had Cynthia summoned Arceus?! She had believed there was nothing Cynthia couldn't do, but this was on a completely different level. All she could do was stare as Arceus came down from the sky, landing right in the center of the carvings. Bright yellow lights were spinning in circles around its bodies, making her a touch dizzy.

"Arceus, God of all creation. Thank you for the gifts you bestow upon our world. I wish to give you something in return." She unzipped her bag and pulled something out of it. From what Dawn could see, it appeared to be a tealish-green tablet, perhaps carved out of some sort of stone. Holding it with both hands, she laid it down in front of Arceus. "This is the missing tablet, crafted by the hands of man's hubris. I hope that by returning it to you, you can continue to bless us for many more centuries, like you have done for me and my ancestors."

Arceus stared down at the plate, then put a foot on it. The plate began to dissolve underneath it, and as it did, the yellow racks on its body began to change color. Before their eyes, they went from yellow to the same tealish-green the plate had been. Arceus closed its eyes, then gave a curt nod and took a few steps back. Raising its head, it let out a sound that Dawn couldn't even perceive as noise. Something began to form in between itself and Cynthia.

Dawn already had little idea about what was going on. When she saw a small, off-colored version of the legendary Dialga being formed in front of her, she knew even _less_. Instead of its usual blue and silver coloring, it was blue-ish green and a strange, yellowish off white. She had never seen anything like it. Well, she had never seen a legendary Pokémon, but she knew Dialga wasn't supposed to look like that. It also wasn't supposed to be that small.

"Thank you, Arceus." Even Cynthia seemed surprised, but she recovered much quicker than Dawn. She got down on one knee, placing a gentle hand on top of Dialga's head. It let out a tiny roar, and she smiled. Pulling a Pokéball from her belt, she touched it to the legendary's head, and it disappeared in a red light. Dawn's jaw couldn't drop any further as she watched Cynthia catch a legendary Pokémon. There were so many questions she had to ask!

Arceus pushed off from the ground, soaring through the sky and back through the hole in the sky. Once it disappeared, the space surrounding them began to shake, and in the blink of an eye, they were back in the cave. Dawn wasn't sure if she was still filming. She wasn't sure if the phone was in her hands, or if she was even present anymore. It wasn't until she fell to her knees that she remembered her own presence.

"Cynthia... What... What was that?" She tried to get back up on her feet, but she felt rooted to the ground. Feeling like an idiot, she held out Cynthia's phone, as if trying to hand it back to her. She was still a good fifteen to twenty feet away from her, though, so that was a futile endeavor. Her brain was still having trouble processing what happened, though, and it was taking precious processing power away from her other functions. She was lucky that she was still breathing.

"That... was incredible," Cynthia responded without really answering her question. She stood there for a moment longer, staring off at where Arceus had been standing. Then she seemed to realize that everything had gone back to normal, and there was still a confused girl behind her recording all of it. She shook her head clear, then headed over towards Dawn. "Did you get it on film?" She took the phone out of Dawn's shaking hands.

"Yes, I... I think so..." She had no idea if she had gotten any of it on film. For all she knew, she had been recording the floor. Everything had happened so suddenly, she didn't know how to deal with it. On the other hand, Cynthia seemed much more excited. Her eyes were alight with the passion of their discovery, and she was eagerly checking the video Dawn had taken.

"I knew I would need to film this, or it would be too unbelievable. Not even I would have been able to convince others that this place holds such significance." It was hard to believe that not even Cynthia could convince others of something, but thinking about what she had seen, she could see where she was coming from. She had _seen_ it and she still barely believed it.

"I... I'm so confused," she admitted, putting a hand to her forehead. She was feeling dizzy again. "I have so many questions."

"Let's head back. I'll explain on the way." Pocketing her phone, Cynthia hoisted up her bag and started heading for the exit of the cave. Her Pokémon, which hadn't moved an inch that entire time, followed after her, lighting the way. After breaking through her daze, Dawn stumbled forward as she followed them out.

While they were stomping through the snow again, Cynthia began to explain what had happened. "They say that if you play the Azure Flute at the Spear Pillar, Arceus will come down. I wondered if this place would hold the same power, as it has carvings relating to Arceus. What I gave to it was an offering: a lost plate from a Pokémon type that no scientist has ever been able to determine. At one point, long ago, it was considered to be a 'cursed' type, or at least that's what old papers claimed. I felt it was necessary to return it to the God who has given us so much."

"That... makes sense, I guess." Honestly, Dawn's head was still spinning with all that information. It made her realize that exploration like this was not something she'd be good at. Trying to determine what all that means was giving her a headache. If she didn't have Cynthia there, her head might have exploded. "I don't know if this is for me... It's making my head hurt."

"It doesn't have to be." Cynthia laughed, her steps high and energetic. "After all, you came with me to find yourself. You've just found something you _don't_ want to do. That narrows it down, doesn't it?" That was a very optimistic way of looking at it, but she wasn't wrong. Had she even come to a conclusion about what she wanted to do, if anything? She had been so focused on Cynthia that she forgot about _why_ she had gone with her in the first place. That was a blessing and a curse.

She let it all ruminate in her mind, the reality of her situation settling in. They would eventually be done with their journey, and she would be returning to school. What was she going to do? Had she learned _anything_ from this adventure, besides that she really liked being close to Cynthia? Maybe she could quit school and become Cynthia's apprentice or something. That seemed... like she would still be a disappointment at the end of the day.

There was too much on her mind to grasp any one thought. She was forced to toss it all aside and just follow Cynthia back to the cabin. They were at least going to spend the night there, which meant she had a full night to think about the future she was trying to avoid. How fun.


	6. i dissolve and solidify

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Staying the night in the abandoned cabin, Dawn lays in the cabin's lone bed and thinks on her future: her favorite topic.

There was one bed in the abandoned cabin, big enough for one person. The only way the two of them could use the bed together was if one of them was lying on top of the other. As nice as that sounded, it would eventually get heavy for the one on the bottom. Plus, the chances of rolling off were extremely high. They had a discussion about it, with both of them saying they would sleep on the floor. Dawn argued that she was familiar with roughing it, but Cynthia countered with her veteran status as a 'roughing it' expert. Eventually Dawn had to give in and take the bed.

She had thought that because they'd had sex, changing in front of each other wouldn't be as embarrassing. She was wrong. Her face burned red as she watched Cynthia remove her clothes, and she struggled to focus on her own changing. Everything felt strangely warm, despite her knowing how cold it was. She was hyper-focused on Cynthia's underwear: black with a thin gold trim. It was what she expected, and she couldn't help but engrave how it looked on Cynthia into her memory.

Somehow she was able to get into her pajamas without falling face-first against the bed. Once she stopped ogling Cynthia, her body made sure she remembered how cold it was. Wrapping her arms around herself, she was unhappy to see that the bed had no covers of any sort: not even so much as a sheet. She put on her jacket over her pajamas, hoping that she could at least get some warmth in there.

Not only did she not get much warmth, she didn't get much sleep either. She spent what felt like hours staring at the ceiling, thinking about her life. It was no good to discuss it with herself, though. All it did was make her go around in circles, never reaching a proper destination. She needed to speak with someone about it, and there was one specific someone who was the best person to talk to. As much as she wanted to keep it to herself, she felt like she could trust someone she had sex with.

She got out of bed and tiptoed over to Cynthia, who was sleeping on the floor nearby. It immediately made her feel guilty for taking the bed, even though Cynthia had refused to yield on that point. If only she had been more forceful, but there was no changing it now. Besides, she could make Cynthia take the bed once she had finished spilling her guts.

"Cynthia?" She got down on her knees, gently shaking Cynthia's shoulder. Though she hated to wake her up, her brain wasn't going to be able to rest until she had spoken her piece. She could only hope that Cynthia would forgive her.

"Mm? Dawn?" Cynthia spoke with her eyes still closed, sitting up slowly and suppressing a yawn. "Are you okay?" She forced herself to blink a couple of times, then tilted her head to look at Dawn. Her troubles must have been written on her face, as Cynthia seemed to wake up pretty quickly. "What's going on, Dawn? Is everything alright?"

"Yes, but... no, I suppose not." She sighed and scooted closer to Cynthia, feeling a bit calmer when their bodies touched. "I just don't know what to do with my life. This adventure is going to end soon, I know that. You'll come back here to research this place further, and I'll be back at school with no clue as to what I want to do. It makes me want to just stay here with you, but all this ancient history stuff... it makes my head hurt." She rubbed her forehead, already feeling a bit of a headache coming on thinking about that whole Arceus deal.

"Well, you at least know historical research isn't for you," Cynthia laughed, but Dawn wasn't able to join in. That had already been mentioned earlier, and it didn't help her figure out what she was going to do. One career was crossed out, but there were a ton more she hadn't even considered. "Don't you feel that you should still consider coordinating? I can tell it's something you love."

"Yes, but... you know that I'm only so good." She sighed deeply, letting her head rest on Cynthia's shoulder. Her eyes closed, but though it was late, she didn't feel sleep tugging at her. "I can't make coordinating a profession. I'm not good enough for that. I've tried to teach people, and it just doesn't work. They don't want to listen to what I have to say." What was the point of being a teacher if she couldn't teach anyone?

"You don't know that they won't in the future. If you come out of university with a teaching degree, your reputation will certainly get you into any coordinator academy you want. You've got so much talent, Dawn. I know that being with other coordinators is where you belong. Don't you think you ought to at least try?"

"I suppose so..." She frowned slightly, biting her lip. "I feel like I'm going to disappoint my family, though. I know they expect me to get a real job, like a... department store manager or something. It just doesn't feel like it's what I want to do. Nothing is." Her entire body lost its tension, slumping forward in defeat. She had reached a dead end, like always. What good was discussing it with Cynthia if she wasn't going to give an inch?

"Ah, that's nostalgic in a way." Cynthia laughed, running her fingers through Dawn's hair. "I was worried about what my parents were going to say when I realized what I wanted to do. School didn't seem right for me. I wanted to be a trainer: to keep battling, and become the very best. But I was scared of what my family would think when I told them that. For all the years we spend as Pokémon trainers, we still have such a narrow-minded view of it." Dawn let out a humorless laugh, feeling that one in her very soul.

"But it was what I wanted to do, so I swallowed my fears and told them what I wanted to do. To my surprise, they were completely supportive of me." She planted a gentle kiss on top of Dawn's head, making her blush in the dark. "Sometimes you don't know what people really think until you put yourself out there." Flashes of what she and Cynthia had done replayed in her mind, which didn't help make her blush go down any more.

"You really think my parents will understand?" Her voice was quiet, her eyes remaining downcast. She was scared: scared of them not agreeing with her life choices, or being supportive and her going out and failing them. Everything weighed heavy on her shoulders, and it was a burden she didn't want to carry anymore.

"I can't say for sure. I don't know them, but if they love their daughter, they will." Her hands moved from Dawn's hair to her shoulders, giving her a massage. "What do you want to do, Dawn? What would make you the happiest? Don't think about failure, or about what others think. Think about yourself right now, and only yourself. Do it for me." Well, if it was for Cynthia, how could she refuse?

She crossed her arms, thinking to herself. What was the one thing she was good at? Coordinating, of course. Did she want to teach people how to become coordinators? Kind of. Truthfully, she wasn't sure if she could deal with teaching the basics to a bunch of fresh-faced youngsters. As much as she wanted to spread the joy of contests to every part of Sinnoh, the basics had long since passed her.

What about something more advanced, though? She had spent years perfecting her skills, and she knew a thing or two about putting on a show. Maybe general teaching wasn't what she should be thinking of. If she became an instructor for advanced coordinator techniques... Yeah, it _did_ sound pretty good. Could she do it, though? Would anyone listen to her?

Maybe Cynthia was right, and she wasn't giving herself enough credit. After all, wasn't the point of going to school to get an education that would help her in her future career? Why _wouldn't_ it help her become a teacher? She had been looking at it from the wrong angle: she was scared of not being good enough, and she was scared of being ignored if she _did_ try to do what she wanted. Maybe being a professional coordinator wasn't in her future, but... but maybe she could train the next group of coordinators. The ones who aspired to reach the same heights she once had.

"I... suppose I would want to be an advanced contest techniques instructor. It's something I'm good at, and I wouldn't mind teaching what I know to other coordinators. Are you sure they would listen to me, though?" Cynthia had already told her that yes, they would, but her insecurities wouldn't let her give in quite yet. There was still a loud part of her brain that told her she was wasting her time thinking of doing something like that.

"I don't see why not. You're a very talented coordinator, Dawn. Remember everybody cheering for you back in Eterna? That was because they remembered you, and they enjoyed the show you put on. If you don't feel there's a future path for you to stay on that stage, then I think you would do great teaching others to do the same thing." She felt honesty in Cynthia's words, and subconsciously shifted as close to her as she could. She was practically in her lap, but Cynthia didn't seem to mind.

"I just... miss being outdoors. It was freeing being able to go wherever I wanted at my own pace. That's one of the reasons I wanted to come with you. Yeah, it's cold here, and the bed doesn't have sheets, but... it reminds me of when I was in the woods, sleeping in a tent and preparing for my next contest. I wish I could recapture those days..." _'Without being seen as a failure,'_ was the caveat she didn't bother adding.

"Maybe you should become a camper then." For the first time, Dawn's head shot up in order to send a discouraging pout Cynthia's way. She just laughed at that, seeing her clearly even in the dark. "Dawn, no one else but you should be allowed to choose your destiny. That's something only you can do. If there's something you want to do, then go for it. Let university just be a... conduit for the future you want. If you could choose right now, what would you want to do?"

"I... I want to train other coordinators. Not the basics, but more advanced techniques. The kind of moves I do with my Piplup and Clefable." It came out more effortlessly than she expected, as if the truth had always been there inside her. "I don't want to stay in one place either. I want to keep traveling. Maybe history isn't for me, but I've loved flying across the region with you. Not so much the flying part, but..." She clasped her hands together, shuddering at the thought of falling off of Garchomp so high in the air.

"That part isn't for everyone," Cynthia agreed, chuckling quietly. She planted another couple of kisses on Dawn's head, squeezing her shoulders. "But I think I understand. You don't want to stay in one building, doing the same thing over and over again. That's what appeals to you." She nodded, the movement felt against Cynthia's chin. "Then perhaps a traveling teacher is what would be best for you. It would allow you to move from city to city while also teaching what you love."

"Yeah, that... that does sound good." It seemed so obvious, but it didn't make sense in her mind until Cynthia spelled it out for her. She sighed deeply, her head ending up resting on Cynthia's chest. "Still, I have to spend four years at school to get to that point." She made a face in the dark, letting out another sigh. "Trying to focus on all that classwork makes my head hurt."

"School is just like that. You get used to it." Cynthia continued with the soothing massage of her shoulders, which did wonders at loosening the tension inside her. It was her words that did the real magic, though. If Cynthia thought that was the path she should follow, then she could believe in herself a little bit more. "Trust me, it will all be worth it when you're done and walking through the woods again."

"I hope so. They could at least let us have our Pokémon out." For a school that taught them how to live in the _Pokémon_ world, it sure did have a startling lack of Pokémon. She did feel better, though, if only a little bit. It was likely that when she got back, the thought of classes and her future would hit her hard again. For the moment, she was able to breathe a bit easier. "Is it okay if I sleep down here with you? The bed's nice and all, but it's lonely."

"Sure." Cynthia laid down, taking her down with her. She smiled to herself, cuddling up close to Cynthia. As soon as she had gotten comfortable, she felt sleep finally trying to overtake her. It was as if she could no longer properly sleep without Cynthia near her, but that was silly. Besides, would she just never sleep again once she returned to school? Maybe. Yikes, that sounded awful.

That made her think of Cynthia deciding to stay with her at school so she could sleep at night. Oh Arceus, just the thought of waking up every morning with Cynthia in her bed made her body feel funny. Of course, that was a silly thought. Cynthia couldn't stay with her for four years. There were lots of things she had to do: places to explore, mysteries to uncover, eager trainers to inspire. It would be a waste for her to wile her time away in a college dorm room. Wasting her time thinking of that was only going to make it harder when they had to depart.

As sleep tugged her eyes closed, she tried to stop thinking about having to leave Cynthia, and about the future that awaited her. Even though she was more sure of what she wanted to do, that didn't mean she wanted to dive headfirst into it. For now, she wanted to live in the present, on her adventure with the beautiful woman who was cuddling with her. There was nothing the future could hold that would be better than that.


	7. to put your feelings out there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back home from the Sinjoh Ruins, Dawn has something she needs to tell her mom. There's also something she needs to tell Cynthia.

She was standing in front of her house, struggling to knock on the door. After coming back from her adventure with Cynthia, she had decided that she needed to tell her mom about her newfound life choice. She'd had enough time to speak with Cynthia, and she now knew that something involving coordinator contests was what she wanted to do with her life. As much as she had tried to deny it, that was really the only thing she was good at. The freedom she had felt standing back on stage made her realize that she missed being in that scene. She didn't want to keep herself away from what she wanted anymore.

The issue now was coming clean to her mom about it. It wasn't like she could hide the truth for long: next year, her mom would be able to see the coordinator-based classes she would be taking on her transcript. She knew it was better to get that conversation out of the way now rather than dragging it on for months, but putting it off sounded like a better solution. Thinking about the negative response she might get terrified her.

Delaying the inevitable now was silly, though. She was already standing in front of the door. If she slinked away and went back to college, she'd be thinking of their future conversation constantly. As much as she was now trying to live in the present, it still felt like she couldn't truly escape her future. With a heavy sigh, she knocked on the door and prayed to Arceus for guidance.

"Oh, Dawn! What are you doing here?" Her mom stood in front of her, looking her over in confusion. "Did something happen?" Now she looked worried, which wasn't exactly what she was going for. She shook her head quickly, wanting to assuage her mom's fears before they got out of control.

"No, nothing happened, mom. I'm okay. I just wanted to come home and say hi." That was a gross oversimplification of the truth, but she wanted to get inside and let the familiarity of her home give her some sort of strength. She certainly needed it. Her mom stepped aside to let her in, seemingly relieved that there was nothing wrong. At least, not yet.

"Is everything going alright at school? I don't think I visited my own parents when I was in school until the winter break." She laughed at the memories, but Dawn could only force out a laugh along with her. It was an innocent memory, but it served to put further pressure on her. If her mom could deal with school, why couldn't she? It took a lot of effort to drag herself out of that pit her brain was trying to drown in.

"School is... okay, but there's something I needed to tell you." She needed to take a deep breath, but she didn't want that sentence to linger on its own. It would just make her mom worry more. "I want to continue focusing on contests. I want to learn to be a teacher to young coordinators, and I know that probably isn't what you expected me to do with my life, but it's what I love to do. I hope you can understand." She bowed her head, out of breath and heart racing. She didn't want to look up and see how her mom was taking it.

"Is that what you truly want to do?" She looked up, eyes wide. Her mom was staring back, her question appearing to be genuine. 

"Yes... Yes it is." She swallowed thickly, trying to dredge up more confidence than she had inside her. "I've always loved coordinating, but I felt that it wasn't what I should be doing with my life. It's not what adults do." She held back a deep sigh, biting down on her lip. Of course, there were plenty of adults in the coordinating sphere: the teachers, the judges, jobs like that. She had just been so confident that she _couldn't_ do that: that she didn't have the skill for it. Now she was committed to diving into it anyway, and she just didn't want her mom to be disappointed in her.

"Well, if that's what you want to do, then that's what you should do!" Her eyes widened at the smile on her mom's face, and how easily she agreed with what she had worked so hard to speak out on. "I always had a feeling you didn't truly want to leave the whole coordinator thing." She winked, covering her mouth and giggling rather daintily. 

"I... I thought you wouldn't approve." She couldn't believe what was happening. Something in her mind had made her feel that it was guaranteed her mom would resist. This was the complete opposite, though. "When I came home, you said I could get a real job. Isn't this... not that?" She waved her hand around, as if that would explain all.

"Oh honey, I hope you didn't take that to heart." Well, she kind of really, really did. "I just wanted you to get involved in a stable occupation, but I always wanted you to be happy with what you were doing." She stepped forward to hug her. "Your happiness is the most important thing to me, you know? If that's what you want to do, then I approve a hundred percent."

"Really?" She still couldn't believe it. It was the best case scenario that she hadn't allowed herself to dwell on. She had convinced herself for two years that working in the contest realm wasn't feasible. Either she wasn't good enough or it wasn't an acceptable occupation for her future. To hear her fears be stomped into the ground without any hesitation... It brought tears to her eyes.

"Of course! I'll support you no matter what." Her mom pulled back and smiled at her, but she was embarrassed at the tears still in her eyes. She didn't want to be seen crying, even by her mom. However, her mom didn't mind: she just wiped them away and kissed her on the forehead. "You're my daughter, Dawn. I'll always love you. I hope you know that."

"I do," she whispered, and in that moment she truly did know. There were no doubts in her mind now. She fell into her mom's embrace again, letting her tears flow freely on her shoulder. There wasn't a point to hiding them now. Besides, this was her mom, and she had just made her fears dissipate so easily. It was a moment where being openly emotional was warranted. "Thank you, mom. I love you so much, but, uh, I need to get back to school. My ride's waiting for me."

"Okay dear. I hope you have a great rest of the semester." They shared one last, tight hug. "Make sure to keep your mother in the loop from now on, okay?" She nodded, fully intending to do that. With a wave, she was out of the house, breaking into a run as she headed for a nearby cluster of trees. There was a big smile on her face that she wanted to keep for as long as she could.

"So, I take it things went well?" Cynthia was waiting for her, leaning against a tree while her Garchomp moved restlessly next to her. As she got closer, Cynthia lifted herself onto Garchomp, patting her neck. She got there shortly afterwards, nodding before she lifted herself up as well. As soon as she got on, she wrapped her arms around Cynthia to make sure she didn't immediately fall off.

"It did." She couldn't stop smiling, even when they took off into the air. For once, she wasn't fearing for her life up there. "My mom understood where I was coming from, and she told me she would be supportive of me no matter what."

"I told you it would work out." Indeed she had. She may have been more likely to put it off as long as possible if Cynthia hadn't encouraged her to go home and tell her mom about it. That was an outcome she made sure happened by being the person who controlled where Garchomp went. She tried to convince Cynthia otherwise during their stop back in Eterna, but it was in vain. There was nothing she could do besides jump off Garchomp in midair as she was flown right back home. If it hadn't gone well, she would have regretted not jumping.

They fell back into their usual silence while flying, the roar of the wind making it too difficult to hold conversation. It was fine with her though, since she still had more to think about. She wasn't too surprised that it was about Cynthia, again. There had been plenty of thoughts running around her head of the former Champion since their paths first crossed.

She knew that what the two of them had was likely a fling. There wasn't a doubt, at least not in her mind, that Cynthia liked her, but that didn't extend farther than a friends with benefits scenario. She had been okay with it because she had strong feelings for her, and she was willing to deal with that. Now, riding on some residual courage from her confession to her mom, she felt like she needed to tell Cynthia the truth: that she really, really liked her.

It was more than a fling for her now. It likely always had been. She just needed time for it to grow, and for her to truly understand how she felt. That was something she was a bit more confident in now. She couldn't say that it was full-fledged love: that was a bridge too far. What she could say was that she had strong, romantic feelings for Cynthia, and she didn't want it to end when they touched down like it did for Candice.

She had to wait until they actually _did_ touch down, finding shelter in a clearing about a half mile from the school. It was just to make sure they didn't get mobbed upon arrival, and she was willing to walk back to her dorm. She couldn't go back until she had said her piece, though.

"Uh, Cynthia? Thank you... for everything. For taking me on that adventure, and encouraging me to be honest with my mom, and with myself actually. And, uh, for the... other things..." She blushed, the implication clear. Cynthia smiled, obviously knowing what she was referring to. "I don't want it to end here, though. I like you a lot. There's still more things I want to do, and I want to do them with you. I know I have to go back to school, but... maybe I can visit you?" She held out hope, as much hope as she could.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" Cynthia's return question caught her off guard. She had been expecting a relatively simple yes or no, not to be questioned herself. "You're a great girl, Dawn. I had a lot of fun taking you on that adventure. The other things we did were just... icing on the cake." She grinned, then quickly reverted to a stoic expression. "I don't like to stay in one place, though, and your education is going to take precedence. Are you sure a full-throated relationship with me is what you want?"

"I am." Truthfully, she had been thinking about certain aspects on and off during the past couple of days, but she had gotten a real chance to sort out her feelings and how she wanted to go through this during their flight back from the Sinjoh Ruins. "It's not that it'll be easy, but I want to try. I really felt something special during our time together, and I... hope you did as well." She clasped her hands together, feeling her confidence starting to bleed out. It made her eyes dart down to the ground.

She heard Cynthia laugh softly, but she couldn't make herself look up. "You're a lot more stubborn than I gave you credit for." Her eyes widened slightly, but she still didn't look up until she felt Cynthia kissing the top of her head. "I'm glad I got to meet you, Dawn. When you came to me asking to come on my adventure, I could tell that it was something you needed. The fact that you've come to realize what you want in just a few days makes me feel so happy."

Cynthia pulled her close, enveloping her in a hug. "I like you a lot, Dawn. You seem to have thought through a lot of potential problems. Admittedly, I have as well. If you're sure about what you're getting yourself into, then I'm okay with trying it out. It might be good to settle down, at least a little bit." She tilted Dawn's head up, making her look in her eyes. Their faces were almost touching, though she had to get on her tip-toes to sell it. "I just want to make sure: are you sure about this?"

She knew she was. There wasn't anything more she needed to think about. Back in that cabin, on the cold floor, she had wished she could stay there with Cynthia forever, stuck in the present without having to think about her future. Even after reconciling with her future, she still preferred the present: it usually didn't steer her wrong. Cynthia was in her present, and that's what mattered to her. Rather than answering right away, she lifted herself up and pressed her lips to Cynthia's. Her eyes closed and she sighed happily as the two of them shared a kiss. When she pulled away, they both knew no answer needed to be said. Still, she did feel compelled to answer.

"I've never been more sure in my life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here ends this story. Thanks for following along! Hope y'all enjoyed it!


End file.
